Why don't orphans do homework? They don't have a home to do it in.
Why are orphans rude at school?
What's the school going to do? Call their parents?
A nun went to the pub and ordered a gin. The bartender said to her, "I thought nuns weren’t allowed to drink?" and she said, "Not usually, but I am doing the bishop a favor."
The bartender then asked if she was coming to the music evening, and she said, "No, I am with the bishop tonight."
What do a blonde and a cow have in common?
They're both fat af.
What do blind people take for granted? Sight.
Do atoms eat booty? No, because they are too cool. ;)
What do you call a wild party in a bamboo forest?
Panda-monium!
Guys tell me that I have a MILF for a mom. So I told my mom that guys tell me that she a MILF. My mom said to me what is a MILF so I said Mother I'd Like TO F-ck. So my mom started to laugh and said well you do new a new step dad.
Teachers: Do you give your mother that attitude?
Orphan: ...
So, a daughter goes to her dad and says, "Daddy, can I borrow the car?" He then tells her, "You know what to do." So then she proceeds to suck him off, almost immediately pulls out in disgust, and says, "Ugh, tastes like shit." Her dad then said, "Damn, I forgot your brother took the car."
What do James Doyle and Hannah Doyle have in common?
John fucked them both in the rear.
What do bananas wear into battle?
Banana-rama!
What did the bottle of conditioner do on the toilet?
Shampoo.
What do you call a baby kangaroo? Joey.
What do you call a 6 year old named Joey? Supper.
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work.
Why do basketball players hate gravity?
Because it's always bringing them down.
What do you call a crappy circumcision
A rip-off
Why do giraffes have such long necks?
Because their feet smell!
What do you call your son?
An mistake.
What do you call a deaf child?
-Ryan Simmonite-
