DoS jokes
What do you call a midget that waves at you?
A microwave.
Where do Eagles send their children to study?
The Alpha birds.
Where does Santa send his children to study?
The Elf-phabets.
Do chiropractors have to pay back taxes?
Only when they file jointly.
Do you want to hear a paper joke?
Never mind, it's tear-able!
A hot woman called "Jessie" was showering when the phone rang.
Jessie was upset because the phone wouldn't stop ringing, and she goes out naked from the bathroom to answer the phone in the hall.
Jessie on the phone: 《Hello? 》
The one on the phone: 《Oh hi, I'm Jeff, I just wanted to tell you don't go out from your bathroom naked next time because my brother is behind you right now trying to rape you.》
Jessie: 《Stop it my sister! This is the 10th time you do this cringe joke! It gets boring!》
But sadly it wasn't a joke, and she cried a lot that night and learned how not to go out naked from the bathroom again.
I was hitting my hand, and my mom asked me what I was doing. I said I'm beating my meat.
If Carlos and Jose took a brownie from me and I had 10 to start, what do I have?
Answer: A math problem.
A neighbor went up to me and asked me where my parents were. When I said, "In the bed," my neighbor said, "Oooooohh, how long is the penis?" I said, "Wait here," and I interrupted my parents while they were doing some "business" and asked my dad the exact question he said. Then he spanked me.
Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and said, "Jill do you wanna?" Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill so now they have a son.
How do you fit a hundred babies into a small bucket?
With a blender.
What do you do to 7 to make it even? Take off the "s".
Don't flirt when there is Life Alert!
Edna: Hey there big boy!
Big boy: You need to stop doing this.
What do you call a stupid male Indian?
"Anshu-man."
Why do you call a pineapple a pineapple?
Because it is a pineapple, pin, apple, apple, pen, doudodo.
What do you call a Roman with a pubic hair in his teeth?
Glad He Ate Her.
where do suicide bombers go when they die? everywhere!
Me and a person downtown.
Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night.
Me: I guess so.
Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this?
Me: I don't know. I used to, but don't anymore.
Person: Why'd you stop?
Me: Unfortunately, I lived every time I'd try something.
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She choked.
What do you call a mom that is yours?
Your mom!