Women be like men should pay for first dates, then get mad when you do...
Women be like, "Equal rights, equal pay," then decide that they don't want to do labor intensive jobs.
Q: How do you deliver an autistic baby?
A: A clothes hanger.
Why do I tell bad jokes?
I'm a lesbian.
What does a Chinese do when you throw an apple at him? Ka-ching!
Why do emos get discounts at every shop? Because they have barcodes on their wrists.
What do emos and the Twin Towers have in common? There were two, but now there are none.
What do you call an emo a cappella group?
Self harmony.
What do you call a blind person driving a car?
Died.
Q: What do you call a security guard at Samsung?
A: Guardians of the Galaxy.
I was drinking a martini when a waitress yelled, "Do you know CPR?"
I replied, "I know the entire alphabet!" We all laughed and laughed, well, except one person.
What do you call a giraffe giving a blow job to another giraffe?
Getting neck!
A man was almost about to drown. A boat said, "Do you need help?" And he said no.
After the boat left, another boat came to the sea, and they asked if he needed help, and he said no.
And he asked God, "Why didn't you help me?"
God said, "I sent you two big boats, you dummy!"
What do orphans have in common with mute children?
They can't talk to their parents.
What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?
I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair playing soccer?
Rocket League!
(Ali A Intro)
I like men.
Wanna smash?
Suck my balls.
I'm in class as I'm posting this ass joke.
This joke sucks terribly.
Honestly just like and leave.
Add me on discord.
IceyTrae#2230
Lebron>MJ
What do Shrek and onions have in common?
*LAYERS*
Why can't orphans do it?
They have no one to call "daddy."
What do farts fly with?
Smellicopters!
So the man asks me, "Jesus, how do you want your steak?"
So I said, "Well done, my good faithful servant, well done."
