DoS jokes
My mother told me to be positive, but she said that when I was going to do an AIDS test.
A Catholic school is burning down. One of the priests says, "Save the children, save them!" Another priest says, "F*ck the children, we're gonna die!!" The last priest is like, "Hmmm... do we have time?"
My dad seen RuPaul's Drag Race?
Asked when will they do up the cars!
What do you call a white kid at the back of the class?
School shooter.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair? A TANK!
What do you call an unemployed Rastafarian?
Jah Bless.
What do dead people and orphans have in common? They can't see their family.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: It doesn’t matter; it won’t come anyway.
What do you call a German man who can't see?
A not see.
Do you know the phrase, “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure?” Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.
What plate do you need to eat in a car? A license plate!
What do you call it when Red Sox can't pull out?
Boston cream pie.
How do ghosts cry?
Boo hoo.
How do demons cry?
ERCDVHVXRCDHGHDCFHBGFBHGN FGEHJGNVEGHDNES BGEWYSHGBEWHGSGNBDGEBSHNZAGCHNSNGEHSNGVHGNNEBDSVZHGB.
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
What do you call someone with a big butt?
The Thightanic!
What do you call a protest that gets crowded?
Human trafficking.
What do you call a Mexican who can’t find the bar?
Barlos.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
You.
You who?
Who do you see over there???
What do you call staring stares?
Stares.
What do you call a flat-chested emo girl?
A cutting board.