DoS jokes
Q: What do you call a nosy pepper?
A: Jalapeño business!
White Russians, do you mean red, white, blue, and dead White Russians?
What do you call a white kid looking at infants?
Pedophilia boy.
What do you call a white kid who kills another?
Russia vs Ukraine hahaha.
What do you call a triggered white kid?
A school shooter!
Girlfriend: Babe, what do you think of our love?
Me: Look at the stars in the sky.
Girlfriend: Aww... it’s infinity, right?
Me: No, it’s a waste of time.
Girlfriend: I’m breaking up with you.
Me: Whatever, when I take out the trash, I think of you.
What do you give a sick lemon?
A lemon-aid.
What do you call a fake noodle?
An im-pasta.
What do you call the sky? Up high, high! AHAHAHAHAHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAA
When do cows moo? Moosday.
What do you call a flat cabbage?
A leaf pile.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Ground beef.
Me as a 5-year-old: How do you relate to the Twin Towers?
Friend: What?
Me: Every time I think of them, I feel sad.
Why do terrorists like the Twin Towers?
It's the next thing they blow up.
Why do orphans like to be robbers in cops and robbers?
So they will be wanted.
Do you know Joe?
Joe mama, mama, a, a, mama, a, a, amam.
Blitz: "HOLD ON! You better move that pussy wagon right now, or I’m gonna..."
Vortex: "You'll do what?"
Blitz: "Or I'll... uh... uh, I- I'll call HR!"
*Silence, then Verosika/me, Blitz, and Vortex bust into laughter. And then back to seriousness*
Verosika/me: "Anyway, meet my new Hellhound... Vortex. Unlike you, he actually does his job well." *leaves and flips Blitz off* "Ta-ta fuck stain."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they do not know where home is.
What do black men in the NBA like about going to the locker room after they are done playing basketball?
Receiving golden showers from other black teammates.
What do emo kids and apples have in common?
They both hang off trees.