I found a rock at the park. I threw it at some orphans.
What would they do? Go to their family?
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Grounded beef.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Grandma isnβt responding. Close app, wait, cancel.
Which do you choose?
What do you call an Indian electrician?
Ashok π
"Do you know the difference between wallpaper and toilet paper?" Replies, "No." "Gross!"
One day, Little Johnny came home with his girlfriend and told his dad, "We're gonna go to my room and do some homework." His dad said okay. Five minutes later, Little Johnny's dad heard noises coming from his room, so he went to go see what it was, and all he heard was, "Baby, baby, oh, baby, baby, oh." Little Johnny's dad started banging on the door and said, "Little Johnny, what are you doing in there?" Then Little Johnny said, "Dad, we're just having sex." Then Little Johnny's dad said, "Oh, I thought you were listening to some Justin Bieber up in here."
How to kick a deaf person off the plane:
Step 1: Pretend to yell and get some friends to do it, too.
Step 2: Tell your friends to raise both of their hands.
Step 3: He's out of the plane on a parachute.
How do u make a sausage roll?
Push it down the hill.π
What do you call a Mexican who's lost his car?
Carlos.
My sister told me she liked Medusa.
I said, "Huh?"
My sister said my blow jobs are so good she looks up at the guy's facial expression, and when they look down, they do nothing but stay still.