DoS jokes
What do you call an opener that doesn't work?
A can't opener.
What type of shirt do kangaroos wear? Jumpsuits.
How do you avoid getting raped? Just don't say no!
What takes knowledge to do and also takes knowledge away?
Looking down the barrel and pulling the trigger. đ
Why do pedophiles come in last place for every race... because they are always in the back (if you know what I mean)?
What do you call a dipshit?
A Charlie.
Bully: *Bullies kid*
Orphan: Stop!! *Cries*
Bully: What are you gonna do? Tell your parents?? XD
Orphan: :/
A teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff.
But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share?" "Yes madam... My daddy told me a story about my Mom." "OK, letâs hear,â said the teacher.
âMy Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldnât break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.â âShe shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.â
Pin drop silence in the class!
"Good Heavens," said the horrified teacher, "What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?"
âStay away from Mummy when sheâs drunk...!!!â
When me and my friend went to the market, my friend tried to scan my arm, and I asked her what she was doing. She answered, "Oh, I had to buy you so I don't steal you."
What do you call a Mexican door?
Dora.
If you're ever bored just fuck some orphans, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Why do Indian people have bad tempers? Because when they were growing up, their parents told them they couldn't have a cow, so they threw a tantrum instead.
Me: What do you want to do for your birthday?
Fiancé: I want to go somewhere I've never been before!
Me: Well welcome to the Kitchen!
Why do emos have friends?
So they can hang with each other.
What do you call an autistic kid if he was short?
A short tistic.
You know how divers jump off a cliff and land in the water well...
Emos do that too, but when they jump, they don't land in the water.
What do you call an ex-lesbian?
A clitter quitter.
What do you call a kid with 15 nukes and a shotgun?
The final countdown.
Why do orphans only have 354 days?
'Cause they are missing Mothers and Fathers day!
Do you know why boys can't ask girls out? Because they don't have any balls to ask girls out!