What do Ligma and Bofa have in common?
They both ride on my dick.
DoS Jokes
What do you call an engineer that bakes? A BAKENEER!
What do you do when you're bored?
Beat up an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?
How do you know someone is going to die?
He can't stop coughing. (coffin)
I went to watch Ghost Rider at a cinema in Paris. As I took a seat, I saw none other than Pessi sat at the front row with a pen and notebook. I asked him what he’s was doing at the cinema since there was a big game coming up. He replied, “I’m taking notes from the best.”
And vanished.
I was doing a 10km run with my good friend Pessi. As we were setting up our smart watches, the watch voice asked us if we wanted to do a solo run or a group run.
Pessi proceeded to smash both our watches and shout, “I don’t want solo run, I want Penalty!”
Shame on you, Pessi!
What do you call a kid on a wheelchair?
Hot Wheels.
What do you call getting assaulted by a gay man? Fruit punch.
How do you name an Asian child?
Ring the doorbell.
What do you call an opener that doesn't work?
A can't opener.
What type of shirt do kangaroos wear? Jumpsuits.
How do you avoid getting raped? Just don't say no!
What takes knowledge to do and also takes knowledge away?
Looking down the barrel and pulling the trigger. 😂
Why do pedophiles come in last place for every race... because they are always in the back (if you know what I mean)?
What do you call a dipshit?
A Charlie.
Bully: *Bullies kid*
Orphan: Stop!! *Cries*
Bully: What are you gonna do? Tell your parents?? XD
Orphan: :/
A teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff.
But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share?" "Yes madam... My daddy told me a story about my Mom." "OK, let’s hear,” said the teacher.
“My Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn’t break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.” “She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.”
Pin drop silence in the class!
"Good Heavens," said the horrified teacher, "What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?"
“Stay away from Mummy when she’s drunk...!!!”
When me and my friend went to the market, my friend tried to scan my arm, and I asked her what she was doing. She answered, "Oh, I had to buy you so I don't steal you."
What do you call a Mexican door?
Dora.
If you're ever bored just fuck some orphans, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
