Displacement jokes

I'm doing a charity bungee jump for the local disabled.

It's called "spastics on elastics."

I can't stand being in a wheelchair.

I heard an Uber from your eyebrows to your hairline is like $40.

I was beefing with a dude in a wheelchair, so I took his wheelchair and threw it across the street and told him, "Walk it off, you will be fine."

What's simultaneously up and down?

A retard on a plane.