New Coping Mechanism Jokes

I used to be emo, but I don't cut myself to solve my problems anymore.

I just drink a bunch of liquor like an adult.

Every time someone calls me fat, I get so depressed I cut myself... a piece of cake.

Sometimes I wish my grass was depressed, then it would just cut itself.

🗣: "Stop making suicide jokes!"

"Don't worry bro, I'll end it soon."

I downloaded Fruit Ninja so I can cut fruit instead of myself.

All these suicide jokes are f***ing killing me.

Why do emo kids wear hoodies?

They hang easier.

You're so fat, when someone calls you fat, you get depressed and cut you a slice of cake.

My dad may be working, but the coping mechanisms sure aren't!

Somebody asked me, "What's that on your arm?" I just said, "My cats got OCD."

If I was a raped victim, would silence be the best medicine?

I don't struggle with depression- like, at this point, I have it down. I'm good at depression.

I was having issues in my personal and professional life. I hated everyone. I was on the brink of a mental breakdown and depression. I decided to see a therapist about it. The therapist suggested that I should write letters to the people I hate and then burn them. I must admit I feel much better...

But now I don't know what to do with the letters.

Someone asked me, "What are them scars on your arm?" I thought I was playing a violin.

brb makin' tic tac toe boards on myself.

I don't struggle with self-harm, I do it everyday.

When I feel depressed, I like to cut myself another piece of cake.

Anyone else on here looking at depressing jokes to make themselves feel better? Not that it's working, but it's nice to know that I'm not alone. Well, enough with the sob story, I gotta go get my razors. See ya in the long run.

To everyone saying, "Don't joke about suicide, it's not even funny to laugh about people dying." Do you think we have it easy? Have you ever thought these jokes were helping us to cope? Mind your own business and don't make assumptions on people you know nothing about, please and thanks.