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OMG guys it’s actually happening I asked my mom she she was like ru stupid I already payed for it lol So yeah it’s happening I can’t get out of it

Say what, say what? Say what, say what? Say what, say what? I say what, say what? (My dick is bigger than yours) Ooh, I say what, say what? I say what, say what? I say what, say what? (My band is bigger than yours) Too bad, I got your beans in my bag You stuck-up sucker, Korny motherfucker Taking over flows is the Limp pimp Need a Bizkit to save this crew from Jon Davis I'm gonna drop a little east side skill Ya best… Read more

Shut up boy you look like a velociraptor in a clogged toilet bowl! Bruh you look like an off brand Ben 10 character! Nah you ain’t Ben 10 you Steven 9! Get yo ass back boy, you look like you got expelled for barking at yo lunch lady! Shut yo ass up boy, you ain’t from Jurassic Park, you came from the prehistoric playground! Get yo ass out boy you like Clifford the big red dog’s fossil! Boy what are you talking about … Read more

My class is watching frozen and I’d rather not pay attention someone save me

Everyoneeeeeee~ Im paying for jakes and amys honeymoon Where should they go??

What the fuck did you just say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the navy seals, and I've been involved with numerous on Al-Queada, and I have over 30 confirmed kills, I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but another target. I'll wipe you the Fuck of with precision the likes of it has never been seen on … Read more

I AM SO MAD. SO IM GOING TO MAY HAIR SALON AND MIND U I HAVE CURLY HAIR. SO MY NORMAL CUT IS LIKE $70 AND ALL OF THE SUDDEN. ALL OF THE MF SUDDEN. THEY CHARGE MORE FOR CURLY HAIRCUTS. SO NOW I HAVE TP PAY $115 TO GET MY HAIR CUT BC MY HAIR IS CURLY

GENESIS 30 1When Rachel saw that she was not bearing Jacob any children, she became jealous of her sister. So she said to Jacob, “Give me children, or I’ll die!” 2Jacob became angry with her and said, “Am I in the place of God, who has kept you from having children?” 3Then she said, “Here is Bilhah, my servant. Sleep with her so that she can bear children for me and I too can build a family through her.” 4So she gave… Read more

Sixty-four people playing games and talking Black Hole threatens all of them 'Til a blue hand stops them Their name is Four, with X in tow Can they trust them? I don't know! They said, Don't you wanna battle for a prize? You could win a BFDI Eight teams of eight are made Get a basket and you'll be safe

Elimination time, it's Cake at Stake Pencil's out and taken away Where'd she go? Their jaws are slack Four brings d… Read more

GENESIS 23 The Death of Sarah 1Sarah lived to be a hundred and twenty-seven years old. 2She died at Kiriath Arba (that is, Hebron) in the land of Canaan, and Abraham went to mourn for Sarah and to weep over her. 3Then Abraham rose from beside his dead wife and spoke to the Hittites. He said, 4“I am a foreigner and stranger among you. Sell me some property for a burial site here so I can bury my dead.” 5The Hittites r… Read more

SHREK

Written by

William Steig & Ted Elliott

SHREK Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only be broken by love's first kiss. … Read more

I love how these 'vegans' are still drinking water.

That could have been a fishes house u bitch

(I'm not vegan btw, just paying them out)

This is completely a waist of time, but worth it at the same time.

*Dad's sitting on the couch reading news paper when wife walks in*

Husband: "This music.. Is the final boss coming? Or worse.. It's my wife..."

Wife: "You jobless monkey... Money to pay bills doesn't grow on tree's"

Husband: "Well it's no my fault.. And I was born poor *Over it* If I was son of Bill Gates I'd bathe in money.."

Wife: "First go bat… Read more

A shoutout to CEO of Racism. He pays well for you to work at his company. Now hiring.

I mistakenly sexted my wife’s sister A couple years ago I was on a business trip and missing my wife. I decided to take a suggestive picture (me in my boxer briefs, clearly with a bulge and just the tip sticking out the top) and send it to my wife. We don’t usually sext but I figured she’d appreciate knowing I was thinking of her.

It was late, I was tired, and barely paying attention. I accidentally sent it to her s… Read more

I set the scene like the DOP Every detail deliberately paced, that's my OCD Action guaranteed Direct or indirect, dumb shit That stimulates the intellect Standard Procedures a tantamount to surgery Layered like baklava, eyes like burgundy Red like my mindset is Marxist, artist Brimstone rockin' with the Doctor in his Tardis Goners with the Michelin finesse Overheads 'cos listeners are listenin' for less Hardwork, you… Read more