I do not make all the rules, nor do I make decisions for the site. I expressed my concerns as a moderator to Matt and HE made the decisions. Heβs not some mindless pushover, he knows what he wants for HIS site and I made him aware of what was impeding on that. What I told him was based on input and discussion from multiple other mods. Just because Iβm the most prominent and active doesnβt mean Iβm the head of all this. I donβt have some sort of secret agenda, which Wade knows, assuming he read the long explanation I sent him.
You think I WANT control? Itβs bad enough I have to deal with everyoneβs shit already, I donβt want more responsibility on top of that. Iβm just fulfilling the purpose that I was made a moderator for: making the site a good place for ALL users and carrying out what Matt wants.
The problem is that when the subject of troll romance is broached, our sparing human intellects instantly assume the most ingratiating posture of surrender imaginable.
But we will do our best to understand regardless.
Humans have only one form of romance. And though we consider it a complicated subject, spanning a wide range of emotions, social conventions, and implications for reproduction, it is ultimately a superficial slice of what trolls consider the full body of romantic experience. Our concept of romance, in spite of its capacity to fill our art and literature and to rule our individual destinies like little else, is still just that. A single, linear concept. A concept usually denoted by a single symbol.
<3
Troll romance is more complicated than that. Troll romance needs four symbols.
Their understanding of romance is divided into halves, and halved again, producing four quadrants: the FLUSHED QUADRANT, the CALIGINOUS QUADRANT, the PALE QUADRANT, and the ASHEN QUADRANT.
Each quadrant is grouped by the half they share, whether horizontally or vertically, depending on the overlapping properties one examines. The sharpest dichotomy, from an emotional perspective, is drawn between RED ROMANCE and BLACK ROMANCE.
RED ROMANCE, comprised of the flushed and pale quadrants, is a form of romance rooted in strongly positive emotions. BLACK ROMANCE, with its caliginous and ashen quadrants, is rooted in the strongly negative.
On the other hand, the vertical bifurcation has to do with the purpose of the relationship, regardless of the emotions behind it. Those quadrants which are CONCUPISCENT, the flushed and caliginous, have to do with facilitating the elaborate reproductive cycle of trolls. Those which are CONCILIATORY, the pale and ashen, would be more closely likened to platonic relationships by human standards.
There are many parallels between human relationships and the various facets of troll romance. Humans have words to describe relationships of a negative nature, or of a platonic nature. The difference is, for humans, those relationships would never be conceptually grouped with romance. Establishing those sort of relationships for humans is not driven by the same primal forces that drive our tendency to couple romantically. But for trolls, those primal forces involve themselves in the full palette of these relationships, red or black, torrid or friendly. Trolls typically feel strongly compelled to find balance in each quadrant, and seek gratifying relationships that each describes.
The challenge is particularly tortuous for young trolls, who must reconcile the wide range of contradictory emotions associated with this matrix, while understanding the nature of their various romantic urges for the first time.
Of course, young humans have this challenge too. But for trolls, the challenge is fourfold.
When two individuals find themselves in the flushed quadrant together, they are said to be MATESPRITS. Matespritship is the closest parallel to the human concept of romance trolls have. It plays a role in the trolls' reproductive cycle, just as it does for humans.
This is pretty obvious! Not much more needs to be said about this. Moving right along.
When a pair of adversaries delve into this quadrant, they become each other's KISMESIS. As one of the concupiscent quadrants, it plays a role in procreation as well. There is no particularly good human translation for this concept. The closest would be an especially potent arch-rivalry.
For instance, human players would never be able to adequately diagnose the relationship between the queen and her archagent. But troll players could immediately place it as a dead ringer for kismesissitude. They would think we were all pretty stupid for not getting it. And they would be right.
Trolls have a complicated reproductive cycle. It's probably best not to examine it in much detail.
The need to seek out concupiscent partners comes with more urgency than typical reproductive instincts. When the IMPERIAL DRONE comes knocking, you had better be able to supply genetic material to each of his FILIAL PAILS. If you have nothing to offer, he will kill you without hesitation.
The genetic material - WITHOUT GOING INTO MUCH DETAIL - is a combinative genetic mix from the matesprit and kismesis pairs, respectively. The pails are all offered to the mother grub, who can only receive such precombined material. She then combines all of it into one incestuous slurry, and begins her brooding.
This doesn't mean the initial combination was for naught, however. In the slurry, more dominant genes rise to the fore, while the more recessive find less representation in the brood. Especially strong matesprit and kismesis pairings yield more dominant genetic material. The more powerful the complement or potent the rivalry, the more dominant the genes.
TROLL REPRODUCTION SURE IS WEIRD. We all take a moment to lament how pedestrian the human reproductive system is, and further lament tha
The problem is that when the subject of troll romance is broached, our sparing human intellects instantly assume the most ingratiating posture of surrender imaginable.
But we will do our best to understand regardless.
Humans have only one form of romance. And though we consider it a complicated subject, spanning a wide range of emotions, social conventions, and implications for reproduction, it is ultimately a superficial slice of what trolls consider the full body of romantic experience. Our concept of romance, in spite of its capacity to fill our art and literature and to rule our individual destinies like little else, is still just that. A single, linear concept. A concept usually denoted by a single symbol.
<3
Troll romance is more complicated than that. Troll romance needs four symbols.
Their understanding of romance is divided into halves, and halved again, producing four quadrants: the FLUSHED QUADRANT, the CALIGINOUS QUADRANT, the PALE QUADRANT, and the ASHEN QUADRANT.
Each quadrant is grouped by the half they share, whether horizontally or vertically, depending on the overlapping properties one examines. The sharpest dichotomy, from an emotional perspective, is drawn between RED ROMANCE and BLACK ROMANCE.
RED ROMANCE, comprised of the flushed and pale quadrants, is a form of romance rooted in strongly positive emotions. BLACK ROMANCE, with its caliginous and ashen quadrants, is rooted in the strongly negative.
On the other hand, the vertical bifurcation has to do with the purpose of the relationship, regardless of the emotions behind it. Those quadrants which are CONCUPISCENT, the flushed and caliginous, have to do with facilitating the elaborate reproductive cycle of trolls. Those which are CONCILIATORY, the pale and ashen, would be more closely likened to platonic relationships by human standards.
There are many parallels between human relationships and the various facets of troll romance. Humans have words to describe relationships of a negative nature, or of a platonic nature. The difference is, for humans, those relationships would never be conceptually grouped with romance. Establishing those sort of relationships for humans is not driven by the same primal forces that drive our tendency to couple romantically. But for trolls, those primal forces involve themselves in the full palette of these relationships, red or black, torrid or friendly. Trolls typically feel strongly compelled to find balance in each quadrant, and seek gratifying relationships that each describes.
The challenge is particularly tortuous for young trolls, who must reconcile the wide range of contradictory emotions associated with this matrix, while understanding the nature of their various romantic urges for the first time.
Of course, young humans have this challenge too. But for trolls, the challenge is fourfold.
When two individuals find themselves in the flushed quadrant together, they are said to be MATESPRITS. Matespritship is the closest parallel to the human concept of romance trolls have. It plays a role in the trolls' reproductive cycle, just as it does for humans.
This is pretty obvious! Not much more needs to be said about this. Moving right along.
When a pair of adversaries delve into this quadrant, they become each other's KISMESIS. As one of the concupiscent quadrants, it plays a role in procreation as well. There is no particularly good human translation for this concept. The closest would be an especially potent arch-rivalry.
For instance, human players would never be able to adequately diagnose the relationship between the queen and her archagent. But troll players could immediately place it as a dead ringer for kismesissitude. They would think we were all pretty stupid for not getting it. And they would be right.
Trolls have a complicated reproductive cycle. It's probably best not to examine it in much detail.
The need to seek out concupiscent partners comes with more urgency than typical reproductive instincts. When the IMPERIAL DRONE comes knocking, you had better be able to supply genetic material to each of his FILIAL PAILS. If you have nothing to offer, he will kill you without hesitation.
The genetic material - WITHOUT GOING INTO MUCH DETAIL - is a combinative genetic mix from the matesprit and kismesis pairs, respectively. The pails are all offered to the mother grub, who can only receive such precombined material. She then combines all of it into one incestuous slurry, and begins her brooding.
This doesn't mean the initial combination was for naught, however. In the slurry, more dominant genes rise to the fore, while the more recessive find less representation in the brood. Especially strong matesprit and kismesis pairings yield more dominant genetic material. The more powerful the complement or potent the rivalry, the more dominant the genes.
TROLL REPRODUCTION SURE IS WEIRD. We all take a moment to lament how pedestrian the human reproductive system is, and further lament tha
t the phrase "incestuous slurry" is not a feature of common parlance in human civilization.
This quadrant involves a particular type of three-way relationship of a black romantic nature. Falling on the conciliatory side, it has no bearing on the reproductive cycle, except for indirect ramifications.
When two trolls are locked in a feud or some otherwise contentious relationship, one can intervene and become their AUSPISTICE. The auspistice mediates between the two, playing the role of a peace keeper, preventing the feud from boiling over into a fully caliginous rivalry.
Since such lesser feuds are quite common among trolls, there is a significant need for auspisticing parties. Without them, too many ashen feuds would become caliginous, and begin to conflict with other exclusive kismesis relationships, leading to a great deal of social complexity and sore feelings (even more so than black romance usually involves). Without auspisticism, the result would be widespread black infidelity.
The relationships each quadrant describes tend to be malleable, if not volatile, especially on the concupiscent half where more torrid emotions reside. It doesn't take much to flip a switch and transmute blackrom feelings to redrom, and vice versa.
In many cases, one party will have red feelings while the other has black. But it will often be the case that one party's feelings will swap to match the other's, since there is no quadrant which naturally accommodates such a disparity. But thereafter, it's not uncommon for the two to toggle between red and black in unison now and then. These scenarios naturally result in both red and black infidelities.
This sort of relationship volatility is why conciliatory relationships are an important part of troll romance.
An auspistice can stabilize particularly turbulent relationships. If the auspistice fails to mediate properly, or has no interest in the role, or perhaps has different romantic intentions him/herself altogether, then the relationship often quickly deteriorates into one of an especially hostile and torrid nature. There are many outside factors and influences tugging and pulling these relationships in different directions, and unlike humans who have very orderly, simple, straightforward romantic relationships without exception, trolls exist in a state of almost perpetual confusion and generally have no idea what the hell is going on.
Being confused by troll relationships is one thing we do have in common though.
This quadrant presides over MOIRALLEGIENCE, the other conciliatory relationship. A reasonable human translation would be the concept of a soul mate, but in a more platonic sense, and with a more specific social purpose.
Trolls are a very angry and violent race. Some are more hot-tempered and dangerous than others, to the extent that if left to their own devices, they would present a serious threat to society, or even to themselves. Such trolls will have an instinctive pale attraction to a more even-tempered troll, who may become their MOIRAIL. The moirail is obliged to pacify the other, to function as the better half. The two partners in a strong pale relationship will serve to balance and complement each other's emotional profiles, and thus allow their other relationships to be more successful.
It's often ambiguous especially among young trolls whether a bond formed between an acquaintance is true moirallegence, or the usual variety of platonic involvement. Furthermore, romantic intentions of a more flushed nature can often be mistaken for paler leanings, much to the frustration of the suitor.
But some pale pairings, as the one above, will be strikingly obvious to all who know them.
God you just can't get enough of this can you! That would have been a great point for a transition out of this illustrated sociological study, but ok, if you insist.
Now see, what's going on here is...
It's perfectly simple. When the full matrix of troll romance is in action, we have... uh...
Hey, why don't you figure it out! You should be an expert on all this by now anyway.
Later our troll hero would try to explain this to our human hero, attempting to convey all the nuance of troll romance through a nearly verbatim recitation of the preceding excerpts.
He would try to describe how rich and textured the troll romantic comedies were compared to the one dimensional schlock of our human cinematic counterparts. He would barely scratch the surface of Troll Will Smith's virtuosity with the delicate lattice of troll romance, as he would assist the bumbling fudgeblooded Troll Kevin James through the interwoven minefield-briarpatch of redrom and blackrom entanglements, all the while sifting through his own prickly romantic situation and ultimately learning the true meaning of hate and pity. But would they succeed before the imperial drone came knocking with his thirsty pails at the ready??? Yes, they would.
But John didn't understand any of this because he's a moron, and he wou
t the phrase "incestuous slurry" is not a feature of common parlance in human civilization.
This quadrant involves a particular type of three-way relationship of a black romantic nature. Falling on the conciliatory side, it has no bearing on the reproductive cycle, except for indirect ramifications.
When two trolls are locked in a feud or some otherwise contentious relationship, one can intervene and become their AUSPISTICE. The auspistice mediates between the two, playing the role of a peace keeper, preventing the feud from boiling over into a fully caliginous rivalry.
Since such lesser feuds are quite common among trolls, there is a significant need for auspisticing parties. Without them, too many ashen feuds would become caliginous, and begin to conflict with other exclusive kismesis relationships, leading to a great deal of social complexity and sore feelings (even more so than black romance usually involves). Without auspisticism, the result would be widespread black infidelity.
The relationships each quadrant describes tend to be malleable, if not volatile, especially on the concupiscent half where more torrid emotions reside. It doesn't take much to flip a switch and transmute blackrom feelings to redrom, and vice versa.
In many cases, one party will have red feelings while the other has black. But it will often be the case that one party's feelings will swap to match the other's, since there is no quadrant which naturally accommodates such a disparity. But thereafter, it's not uncommon for the two to toggle between red and black in unison now and then. These scenarios naturally result in both red and black infidelities.
This sort of relationship volatility is why conciliatory relationships are an important part of troll romance.
An auspistice can stabilize particularly turbulent relationships. If the auspistice fails to mediate properly, or has no interest in the role, or perhaps has different romantic intentions him/herself altogether, then the relationship often quickly deteriorates into one of an especially hostile and torrid nature. There are many outside factors and influences tugging and pulling these relationships in different directions, and unlike humans who have very orderly, simple, straightforward romantic relationships without exception, trolls exist in a state of almost perpetual confusion and generally have no idea what the hell is going on.
Being confused by troll relationships is one thing we do have in common though.
This quadrant presides over MOIRALLEGIENCE, the other conciliatory relationship. A reasonable human translation would be the concept of a soul mate, but in a more platonic sense, and with a more specific social purpose.
Trolls are a very angry and violent race. Some are more hot-tempered and dangerous than others, to the extent that if left to their own devices, they would present a serious threat to society, or even to themselves. Such trolls will have an instinctive pale attraction to a more even-tempered troll, who may become their MOIRAIL. The moirail is obliged to pacify the other, to function as the better half. The two partners in a strong pale relationship will serve to balance and complement each other's emotional profiles, and thus allow their other relationships to be more successful.
It's often ambiguous especially among young trolls whether a bond formed between an acquaintance is true moirallegence, or the usual variety of platonic involvement. Furthermore, romantic intentions of a more flushed nature can often be mistaken for paler leanings, much to the frustration of the suitor.
But some pale pairings, as the one above, will be strikingly obvious to all who know them.
God you just can't get enough of this can you! That would have been a great point for a transition out of this illustrated sociological study, but ok, if you insist.
Now see, what's going on here is...
It's perfectly simple. When the full matrix of troll romance is in action, we have... uh...
Hey, why don't you figure it out! You should be an expert on all this by now anyway.
Later our troll hero would try to explain this to our human hero, attempting to convey all the nuance of troll romance through a nearly verbatim recitation of the preceding excerpts.
He would try to describe how rich and textured the troll romantic comedies were compared to the one dimensional schlock of our human cinematic counterparts. He would barely scratch the surface of Troll Will Smith's virtuosity with the delicate lattice of troll romance, as he would assist the bumbling fudgeblooded Troll Kevin James through the interwoven minefield-briarpatch of redrom and blackrom entanglements, all the while sifting through his own prickly romantic situation and ultimately learning the true meaning of hate and pity. But would they succeed before the imperial drone came knocking with his thirsty pails at the ready??? Yes, they would.
But John didn't understand any of this because he's a moron, and he wou
ldn't shut up about his awful bullshit Earth movies. He would just go on and on and on about that garbage.
But if there was one theme to be hammered through his thick skull, it would be the trolls' cultural preoccupation with romantic destiny. Yes, the romantic landscape is rife with false starts and miscues and infidelities, red and black. But every troll believes strongly that each quadrant holds one and only one true pairing for them, and it is just a matter of time before the grid is filled with auspicious matchups through the mysterious channels of TROLL SERENDIPITY.
In short, their belief is that for each quadrant there exists a pair or triad of trolls somewhere in the cosmos that were...
When a pair of adversaries delve into this quadrant, they become each other's KISMESIS. As one of the concupiscent quadrants, it plays a role in procreation as well. There is no particularly good human translation for this concept. The closest would be an especially potent arch-rivalry.
The moirail is obliged to pacify the other, to function as the better half. The two partners in a strong pale relationship will serve to balance and complement each other's emotional profiles, and thus allow their other relationships to be more successful.
π±ππππ ππ πππ π°πππππππ
(its 3:24 PM for me)
The Unknown King of Moderation
FRUIT
The Unknown King of Moderation
Are you actually the Casey girl
Oogway
Good Morning Homie
π±ππππ ππ πππ π°πππππππ
no lmao
π±ππππ ππ πππ π°πππππππ
why arent you clown anymore?
Anonymous
Hes always a clown
Anonymous
Always has been and always will be
π±ππππ ππ πππ π°πππππππ
jake why you got so many opps?
π±ππππ ππ πππ π°πππππππ
you bad too many people ong
Anonymous
dont fall for his βgoodwillβ
Anonymous
Theres nothing good about him
Anonymous
he lies like its nothing
Anonymous
he oppresses and manipulates
Anonymous
he says disturbing things to 12 year old girls
Anonymous
ive seen all of it
Anonymous
and he knows it thats why he bans me
Anonymous
he wants the power all to himself
Anonymous
thats why he doesnt want new mods
Toast γ
good morning
Anonymous
hes raping this site front and back
π±ππππ ππ πππ π°πππππππ
damn
Anonymous
as soon as you disagree with him youre not his friend anymore
Anonymous
he quietly silences you
Toast γ
dagger?
Anonymous
oh god not this again
Anonymous
youre all way too paranoid about dagger coming back
Toast γ
DAGGER JR!
Toast γ
Hey Pookie
Toast γ
I love when you talk dirty to me
π±ππππ ππ πππ π°πππππππ
bro waht
Anonymous
fucking retards
Anonymous
kill yourself
Toast γ
Hey Fruit
Toast γ
choke me
The Unknown King of Moderation
Kinky
Silent Specter
π―
The Unknown King of Moderation
Where are you guys getting these ideas lmao
The Unknown King of Moderation
The situation really isnβt that deep
The Radio Demon
lol for me itβs 22:10 and iβm at a bday party
mal
hi
mal
come back to life chat
mal
im bored
Anonymous
not even denying it? it is that deep asshole
Anonymous
you ruined a once great website
Wade
This is a dictatorship.
Anonymous
wade
Anonymous
dont accept mod agaib
Anonymous
*again
Wade
Why
Anonymous
jake wants to use that to control you
Anonymous
dont accept it
Wade
Donβt worry I have a plan
Anonymous
he will have something to threaten you with
Anonymous
you can trust me i hate jake and you do too we have a common interest
Anonymous
join the discord
Anonymous
we need to talk
Wade
Youβre in the WJE discord?
Anonymous
he wanted me to help him so i accepted
Anonymous
please join it
Anonymous
dagger also needs to talk to you
Wade
I canβt currently but Iβll see what I can do
Anonymous
as soon as possible
Anonymous
this is not a safe place to talk
Anonymous
see you there
Wade
I also use the uwu crew site for private conversation
Anonymous
no there are vital people on the discord its the best place
Wade
π
The Unknown King of Moderation
Bro what are you even doing
The Unknown King of Moderation
No itβs not π
Toast γ
hey Jake
The Unknown King of Moderation
I do not make all the rules, nor do I make decisions for the site. I expressed my concerns as a moderator to Matt and HE made the decisions. Heβs not some mindless pushover, he knows what he wants for HIS site and I made him aware of what was impeding on that. What I told him was based on input and discussion from multiple other mods. Just because Iβm the most prominent and active doesnβt mean Iβm the head of all this. I donβt have some sort of secret agenda, which Wade knows, assuming he read the long explanation I sent him.
The Unknown King of Moderation
You think I WANT control? Itβs bad enough I have to deal with everyoneβs shit already, I donβt want more responsibility on top of that. Iβm just fulfilling the purpose that I was made a moderator for: making the site a good place for ALL users and carrying out what Matt wants.
God
#voteforjake
Toast γ
jake?
urfavvirgo
no vote for kanye
Toast γ
respond pookey
The Unknown King of Moderation
Yes?
Toast γ
hi
The Unknown King of Moderation
He wouldβve been better than Biden
The Unknown King of Moderation
Lmao
The Unknown King of Moderation
Maybe not
The Unknown King of Moderation
Yeah no nvm
Toast γ
jake, stop getting political
Toast γ
politics are so gay
Toast γ
like you
Flappy.
real
Toast γ
hey flappy
The Unknown King of Moderation
IT WAS A JOKE
The Unknown King of Moderation
sometimes I hate being popular on this site
Flappy.
MHM
Toast γ
hot
Toast γ
jake show me your cock
urfavvirgo
QUOTEBOOK
The Unknown King of Moderation
No
Toast γ
PLEASE
The Unknown King of Moderation
Thatβs not quotable he says gay shit like that all the time
Wade
Which one
Toast γ
Jake, I would like to have gay sex with you
Flappy.
NO BC THAT WAS SO OUT OF CONTEXT
Flappy.
OUT OF THE BLUE
Toast γ
I wont tell Madi
Toast γ
PLEASE
urfavvirgo
quotebook again smh
Toast γ
Jake, come one
Toast γ
just one time
Toast γ
Madi will never know
urfavvirgo
IVAN CHECK UWU CREW
The Unknown King of Moderation
Fuck off toast Iβm not a fag
Toast γ
you will be
Wade
Whatβs the name of it
Toast γ
you'll be a dirty luttle cumslut
urfavvirgo
toast stop it.
Toast γ
shit my fault
Wade
I see nothing wrong with this
Toast γ
oh yeah, you guys dont know me irl
Toast γ
did i kill chat by being gay?
Wade
Nah
Toast γ
oh good
Flappy.
yes
Toast γ
darn
Wade
Toast Iβll let you know if I get an answer
Wade
Gtg for now
Toast γ
alright
Toast γ
bye bye
Wade
Cya bro
Toast γ
holy shit i have shakey hands
urfavvirgo
itβs okay bro
Toast γ
YIPPIE
Flappy.
are you having a seizure
urfavvirgo
βDirty little cumslutβ is a reach tho
Toast γ
fine
God
What the actual fuck did I just read
Toast γ
can i call him a cumdumpster?
God
No what?
Toast γ
FINE
Toast γ
GOD
Toast γ
you guys are like my parents
Toast γ
"stop sexually harrasing people"
urfavvirgo
nty respectfully <3
Toast γ
fine
Toast γ
ill stop being gay
urfavvirgo
pls donβt grow up to be a child molester
Toast γ
FINE
Toast γ
God
Toast γ
just once?
urfavvirgo
no thatβs weird
Toast γ
fine
Toast γ
so how are you virgo?
urfavvirgo
Iβm good hru
God
Whatβs up
Ξ±my
purple nurple
Toast γ
hey amy
God
Huh?
Toast γ
not much
God
Iβll give you a one time pass
urfavvirgo
LOOK AT FLAPPYS PFP
Ξ±my
hey toast
God
To say that
urfavvirgo
ME AND HER ARE MATCHING
Ξ±my
why is she an obese woman
urfavvirgo
no she has an extra chromosome
Ξ±my
makes sense
The Unknown King of Moderation
exactly
God
Amy is it true
Ξ±my
so anything happen while i was gone
The Unknown King of Moderation
nah it's been a slow day
Toast γ
hey jake
Ξ±my
is what true
God
Yeah itβs been slow nothing crazy
The Unknown King of Moderation
Pretty sure dagger and the gang are going to try and start a revolution
Ξ±my
jake why is your pfp leaves
Ξ±my
why
The Unknown King of Moderation
:P
Ξ±my
why is everyone changing
Toast γ
;like the mexican one
Ξ±my
their pfps
The Unknown King of Moderation
I lost the matching one I had with Madi
Ξ±my
or the french one
The Unknown King of Moderation
Scottish revolution was sick they should do that instead
urfavvirgo
What gang
God
Yeah they wanna do a WJE revolution itβs kinda werid
The Unknown King of Moderation
Wade mostly
Ξ±my
urfavvirgo
β¦.β
The Unknown King of Moderation
and whoever's running all the anti-me alts
urfavvirgo
heβs not fucking scary π
The Unknown King of Moderation
ty
God
Lmao
Ξ±my
what
Ξ±my
what did wade do now
God
Ur bf
Ξ±my
excuse me
urfavvirgo
OH TEA
Ξ±my
take that back
The Unknown King of Moderation
Yeah how's he gonna win Madi over by doing that
Toast γ
hes MY bf
urfavvirgo
OH MY GOODNESS
God
Heβs spreading anti Jake
Toast γ
BACK OFF
Ξ±my
^^^
Ξ±my
not mine
God
Share him
Ξ±my
i don't even want to see us in the same sentence
The Unknown King of Moderation
guys do I really seem like a dictator
The Unknown King of Moderation
cause I really can't see it
urfavvirgo
sometimes
urfavvirgo
when your MEAN
urfavvirgo
to me
God
But yeah wade wants Madi and also is tryna get Jake ran out of mod
The Unknown King of Moderation
THATS NOT BEING A DICTATOR
Ξ±my
you seem like a harmless white person with a very high libido.
The Unknown King of Moderation
THAT'S BEING PLAYFUL
The Unknown King of Moderation
That's so true
Toast γ
Wade thinks you do
The Unknown King of Moderation
BUT IM NOT THAT WHITE
Ξ±my
tHatS sO tRue
urfavvirgo
NO BUT COMMENTING ON MY CHIPOTLE CONSUMPTION WAS VERY DICTATOR-LIKE
Toast γ
and im loyal to wade
Toast γ
so yeah
Ξ±my
okay
Ξ±my
congrats
The Unknown King of Moderation
Probably cause daddy dagger says I am
Ξ±my
do you want a medal
Ξ±my
or something
God
Yeah
The Unknown King of Moderation
does wade have a daddy kink too?
God
I do HUH
Toast γ
no, but
The Unknown King of Moderation
maybe that's why he likes dagger so much
Toast γ
no
Ξ±my
stalin
urfavvirgo
nuh uh u were trying to be Jakeβs β¦.βcumslutβ like five minutes ago
Ξ±my
yes
Ξ±my
i don't even wanna know.
Ξ±my
at this point
God
Iβm leaving
urfavvirgo
no a mommy one π
Toast γ
NO, I was making him my cumslut
urfavvirgo
NO WAIT
God
LMFG
Ξ±my
wade is a bottom
The Unknown King of Moderation
sus
urfavvirgo
thanks for clarifying
Toast γ
my bottom
Ξ±my
okay
God
I should buy out the site
Ξ±my
good job
The Unknown King of Moderation
Toast is everything alright with wade
The Unknown King of Moderation
he's like
The Unknown King of Moderation
hella wack compared to when he first joined
Ξ±my
did you not see my essay
Ξ±my
on uwu
Toast γ
Yeah, hes fine
The Unknown King of Moderation
and he doesn't tell anyone anything
Ξ±my
like literally
Ξ±my
i explained everything
The Unknown King of Moderation
except you usually
Ξ±my
in that essay
Ξ±my
my god
Toast γ
does anyone really?
Ξ±my
you people
Ξ±my
don't read
God
Whatβs up
Ξ±my
no
Ξ±my
i
Ξ±my
never mind
The Unknown King of Moderation
yes, yes we do
God
Yeas
Ξ±my
JAKE
urfavvirgo
OH YEAH
urfavvirgo
I HAVE TEA
The Unknown King of Moderation
what amy
God
Who?
Ξ±my
:(
Toast γ
dont start drama guys
Ξ±my
but
Ξ±my
but but
Toast γ
NO
God
No
urfavvirgo
smh like TEA yk like basically shit to talk abt ppl but in this case itβs nobody here expect for maybe one person
Ξ±my
tea
Ξ±my
spill it \
urfavvirgo
nty
Ξ±my
spill the scalding liquid
Ξ±my
damn
Ξ±my
okay then
Ξ±my
so
Ξ±my
how are you guys
Ξ±my
guys
God
Iβm leaving
Ξ±my
oh okay
Ξ±my
bye
God
Not you
God
The other guy
Ξ±my
huh
God
Wrong chat too
God
We set
Ξ±my
okay
Ξ±my
i guess
God
Amy are you and wade dating
The Unknown King of Moderation
yes
Ξ±my
NO
The Unknown King of Moderation
they are
God
Like be fr
Ξ±my
NO
Toast γ
yeahm they are
The Unknown King of Moderation
and he's cheating
Ξ±my
NO
The Unknown King of Moderation
with my girlfriend
Ξ±my
EW
Ξ±my
NO
Ξ±my
EW
God
No actually
Ξ±my
No
The Unknown King of Moderation
and amy's cheating
Ξ±my
no we aren't
The Unknown King of Moderation
also with my girlfriend
Ξ±my
can you stop
The Unknown King of Moderation
amy admit it
The Unknown King of Moderation
you love madi
Ξ±my
no
urfavvirgo
Jake stop being mean
Toast γ
Yep
The Unknown King of Moderation
it's impossible not to
The Unknown King of Moderation
she's so fuckin perfect
Ξ±my
i literally hate you so much.
God
Amy do u have a thing for Jake
Ξ±my
NO
Toast γ
Jake stop instegaing
Ξ±my
omfg
urfavvirgo
your being very dictator-y rn
Ξ±my
why
Toast γ
thats my thing
The Unknown King of Moderation
like ffs she is so amazing
Ξ±my
i'm leaving
The Unknown King of Moderation
how could you not be madly in love with her
Ξ±my
because i'm not
Ξ±my
that's why
The Unknown King of Moderation
she turns gays back straight
Ξ±my
no
The Unknown King of Moderation
that's how perfect she is
Ξ±my
okay
The Unknown King of Moderation
AND SHE'S ALL FUCKIN MINE SO BACK OFF
The Unknown King of Moderation
GRRRR
Ξ±my
why
The Unknown King of Moderation
MY MADI
Ξ±my
are you
Ξ±my
asking me
Ξ±my
so many questions
The Unknown King of Moderation
πΉ
God
No reason but Iβll note that down
Ξ±my
you sound like the pov tiktokers
God
π¦
Ξ±my
the cringy ones
urfavvirgo
oh
Ξ±my
exactly
urfavvirgo
oh
Toast γ
hey virgo
Ξ±my
hey it looks just like you
Ξ±my
ha ha
urfavvirgo
ykw sure if thatβs what u guys are into π€·ββοΈ
Ξ±my
what a coincidence
urfavvirgo
hey toast
The Unknown King of Moderation
wdym into
Toast γ
how are you?
The Unknown King of Moderation
who are you talking about
The Unknown King of Moderation
who is "u guys"
urfavvirgo
u and MADI
Ξ±my
you and your gf
The Unknown King of Moderation
what are you saying we're into
Ξ±my
whatever that is
Toast γ
this game goes so hard
Ξ±my
eugh
The Unknown King of Moderation
man you people are mean
Ξ±my
yes
The Unknown King of Moderation
I can never do anything without getting backlash from someone smh
Ξ±my
please
urfavvirgo
πΉβgrrrβ
The Unknown King of Moderation
HOW IS THAT A THING YOU CAN BE INTO
The Unknown King of Moderation
IT'S A JOKE
The Unknown King of Moderation
IM TRYING TO BE FUNN
The Unknown King of Moderation
Y
urfavvirgo
uh HUH
Toast γ
Back
urfavvirgo
itβs okay it was pretty funny
Toast γ
so h9ow are you guys?
Toast γ
damn, its dead
The Unknown King of Moderation
fr
Toast γ
hey jake
The Unknown King of Moderation
toast do you wanna hear about troll romance
Toast γ
sure
Toast γ
i think
The Unknown King of Moderation
The problem is that when the subject of troll romance is broached, our sparing human intellects instantly assume the most ingratiating posture of surrender imaginable.
But we will do our best to understand regardless.
Humans have only one form of romance. And though we consider it a complicated subject, spanning a wide range of emotions, social conventions, and implications for reproduction, it is ultimately a superficial slice of what trolls consider the full body of romantic experience. Our concept of romance, in spite of its capacity to fill our art and literature and to rule our individual destinies like little else, is still just that. A single, linear concept. A concept usually denoted by a single symbol.
<3
Troll romance is more complicated than that. Troll romance needs four symbols.
Their understanding of romance is divided into halves, and halved again, producing four quadrants: the FLUSHED QUADRANT, the CALIGINOUS QUADRANT, the PALE QUADRANT, and the ASHEN QUADRANT.
Each quadrant is grouped by the half they share, whether horizontally or vertically, depending on the overlapping properties one examines. The sharpest dichotomy, from an emotional perspective, is drawn between RED ROMANCE and BLACK ROMANCE.
RED ROMANCE, comprised of the flushed and pale quadrants, is a form of romance rooted in strongly positive emotions. BLACK ROMANCE, with its caliginous and ashen quadrants, is rooted in the strongly negative.
On the other hand, the vertical bifurcation has to do with the purpose of the relationship, regardless of the emotions behind it. Those quadrants which are CONCUPISCENT, the flushed and caliginous, have to do with facilitating the elaborate reproductive cycle of trolls. Those which are CONCILIATORY, the pale and ashen, would be more closely likened to platonic relationships by human standards.
There are many parallels between human relationships and the various facets of troll romance. Humans have words to describe relationships of a negative nature, or of a platonic nature. The difference is, for humans, those relationships would never be conceptually grouped with romance. Establishing those sort of relationships for humans is not driven by the same primal forces that drive our tendency to couple romantically. But for trolls, those primal forces involve themselves in the full palette of these relationships, red or black, torrid or friendly. Trolls typically feel strongly compelled to find balance in each quadrant, and seek gratifying relationships that each describes.
The challenge is particularly tortuous for young trolls, who must reconcile the wide range of contradictory emotions associated with this matrix, while understanding the nature of their various romantic urges for the first time.
Of course, young humans have this challenge too. But for trolls, the challenge is fourfold.
When two individuals find themselves in the flushed quadrant together, they are said to be MATESPRITS. Matespritship is the closest parallel to the human concept of romance trolls have. It plays a role in the trolls' reproductive cycle, just as it does for humans.
This is pretty obvious! Not much more needs to be said about this. Moving right along.
When a pair of adversaries delve into this quadrant, they become each other's KISMESIS. As one of the concupiscent quadrants, it plays a role in procreation as well. There is no particularly good human translation for this concept. The closest would be an especially potent arch-rivalry.
For instance, human players would never be able to adequately diagnose the relationship between the queen and her archagent. But troll players could immediately place it as a dead ringer for kismesissitude. They would think we were all pretty stupid for not getting it. And they would be right.
Trolls have a complicated reproductive cycle. It's probably best not to examine it in much detail.
The need to seek out concupiscent partners comes with more urgency than typical reproductive instincts. When the IMPERIAL DRONE comes knocking, you had better be able to supply genetic material to each of his FILIAL PAILS. If you have nothing to offer, he will kill you without hesitation.
The genetic material - WITHOUT GOING INTO MUCH DETAIL - is a combinative genetic mix from the matesprit and kismesis pairs, respectively. The pails are all offered to the mother grub, who can only receive such precombined material. She then combines all of it into one incestuous slurry, and begins her brooding.
This doesn't mean the initial combination was for naught, however. In the slurry, more dominant genes rise to the fore, while the more recessive find less representation in the brood. Especially strong matesprit and kismesis pairings yield more dominant genetic material. The more powerful the complement or potent the rivalry, the more dominant the genes.
TROLL REPRODUCTION SURE IS WEIRD. We all take a moment to lament how pedestrian the human reproductive system is, and further lament tha
Toast γ
wow, what an eccelent read
Toast γ
you guys ever seen cats fight?
The Unknown King of Moderation
t the phrase "incestuous slurry" is not a feature of common parlance in human civilization.
This quadrant involves a particular type of three-way relationship of a black romantic nature. Falling on the conciliatory side, it has no bearing on the reproductive cycle, except for indirect ramifications.
When two trolls are locked in a feud or some otherwise contentious relationship, one can intervene and become their AUSPISTICE. The auspistice mediates between the two, playing the role of a peace keeper, preventing the feud from boiling over into a fully caliginous rivalry.
Since such lesser feuds are quite common among trolls, there is a significant need for auspisticing parties. Without them, too many ashen feuds would become caliginous, and begin to conflict with other exclusive kismesis relationships, leading to a great deal of social complexity and sore feelings (even more so than black romance usually involves). Without auspisticism, the result would be widespread black infidelity.
The relationships each quadrant describes tend to be malleable, if not volatile, especially on the concupiscent half where more torrid emotions reside. It doesn't take much to flip a switch and transmute blackrom feelings to redrom, and vice versa.
In many cases, one party will have red feelings while the other has black. But it will often be the case that one party's feelings will swap to match the other's, since there is no quadrant which naturally accommodates such a disparity. But thereafter, it's not uncommon for the two to toggle between red and black in unison now and then. These scenarios naturally result in both red and black infidelities.
This sort of relationship volatility is why conciliatory relationships are an important part of troll romance.
An auspistice can stabilize particularly turbulent relationships. If the auspistice fails to mediate properly, or has no interest in the role, or perhaps has different romantic intentions him/herself altogether, then the relationship often quickly deteriorates into one of an especially hostile and torrid nature. There are many outside factors and influences tugging and pulling these relationships in different directions, and unlike humans who have very orderly, simple, straightforward romantic relationships without exception, trolls exist in a state of almost perpetual confusion and generally have no idea what the hell is going on.
Being confused by troll relationships is one thing we do have in common though.
This quadrant presides over MOIRALLEGIENCE, the other conciliatory relationship. A reasonable human translation would be the concept of a soul mate, but in a more platonic sense, and with a more specific social purpose.
Trolls are a very angry and violent race. Some are more hot-tempered and dangerous than others, to the extent that if left to their own devices, they would present a serious threat to society, or even to themselves. Such trolls will have an instinctive pale attraction to a more even-tempered troll, who may become their MOIRAIL. The moirail is obliged to pacify the other, to function as the better half. The two partners in a strong pale relationship will serve to balance and complement each other's emotional profiles, and thus allow their other relationships to be more successful.
It's often ambiguous especially among young trolls whether a bond formed between an acquaintance is true moirallegence, or the usual variety of platonic involvement. Furthermore, romantic intentions of a more flushed nature can often be mistaken for paler leanings, much to the frustration of the suitor.
But some pale pairings, as the one above, will be strikingly obvious to all who know them.
God you just can't get enough of this can you! That would have been a great point for a transition out of this illustrated sociological study, but ok, if you insist.
Now see, what's going on here is...
It's perfectly simple. When the full matrix of troll romance is in action, we have... uh...
Hey, why don't you figure it out! You should be an expert on all this by now anyway.
Later our troll hero would try to explain this to our human hero, attempting to convey all the nuance of troll romance through a nearly verbatim recitation of the preceding excerpts.
He would try to describe how rich and textured the troll romantic comedies were compared to the one dimensional schlock of our human cinematic counterparts. He would barely scratch the surface of Troll Will Smith's virtuosity with the delicate lattice of troll romance, as he would assist the bumbling fudgeblooded Troll Kevin James through the interwoven minefield-briarpatch of redrom and blackrom entanglements, all the while sifting through his own prickly romantic situation and ultimately learning the true meaning of hate and pity. But would they succeed before the imperial drone came knocking with his thirsty pails at the ready??? Yes, they would.
But John didn't understand any of this because he's a moron, and he wou
Toast γ
hmm
The Unknown King of Moderation
ldn't shut up about his awful bullshit Earth movies. He would just go on and on and on about that garbage.
But if there was one theme to be hammered through his thick skull, it would be the trolls' cultural preoccupation with romantic destiny. Yes, the romantic landscape is rife with false starts and miscues and infidelities, red and black. But every troll believes strongly that each quadrant holds one and only one true pairing for them, and it is just a matter of time before the grid is filled with auspicious matchups through the mysterious channels of TROLL SERENDIPITY.
In short, their belief is that for each quadrant there exists a pair or triad of trolls somewhere in the cosmos that were...
MADE FOR EACH OTHER.
Toast γ
hmm
The Unknown King of Moderation
Does that make sense or do I need to go over it again
The Unknown King of Moderation
here look
Toast γ
no its fine
The Unknown King of Moderation
The Unknown King of Moderation
that should help you visualize it
Toast γ
nice
The Unknown King of Moderation
want me to explain it in simple terms
The Unknown King of Moderation
okay good
Toast γ
no
Toast γ
oh fine
The Unknown King of Moderation
so matespritship is pretty much normal human love
The Unknown King of Moderation
moirallegiance is basically "platonic soulmates" who keep each other in check and benefit from the relationship
The Unknown King of Moderation
auspisticism is where one person (or troll) acts as a mediator between two to prevent them from fucking shit up and becoming kismeses
The Unknown King of Moderation
and kismesissitude is hate romance
The Unknown King of Moderation
does that make sense
The Unknown King of Moderation
okay good
Toast γ
hmm
Toast γ
interesting
The Unknown King of Moderation
very
urfavvirgo
EXPLAIN.
urfavvirgo
I WANNA KNOW MORE
The Unknown King of Moderation
I love that you're interested in this
urfavvirgo
this is like abt humans right
The Unknown King of Moderation
When a pair of adversaries delve into this quadrant, they become each other's KISMESIS. As one of the concupiscent quadrants, it plays a role in procreation as well. There is no particularly good human translation for this concept. The closest would be an especially potent arch-rivalry.
The Unknown King of Moderation
It also plays a part in reproduction
Toast γ
hey Virgo
urfavvirgo
hey Toast
The Unknown King of Moderation
it's a romance based on negative emotions
Toast γ
how are you?
The Unknown King of Moderation
for example, amy and wade are probably in a kismesissitude together
The Unknown King of Moderation
Madi and I are matesprits
Toast γ
huh
The Unknown King of Moderation
uh lemme think of another example
urfavvirgo
so like let me know if Iβm completely wrong but maybe like how two people feel the need to prove themselves to eachother, but they hate that?
The Unknown King of Moderation
no they hate each other
The Unknown King of Moderation
romantically
The Unknown King of Moderation
sexually maybe
urfavvirgo
oh π
Toast γ
huh
urfavvirgo
^^^^
urfavvirgo
no but sexy red rapped abt that
The Unknown King of Moderation
Emily and Flappy are the closest thing I can think of for a moirallegiance
The Unknown King of Moderation
and I used to be an auspistice for Wade and Amy before they became caliginous
urfavvirgo
urfavvirgo
whts that
The Unknown King of Moderation
lmao the little black line
The Unknown King of Moderation
I hate when that happens
urfavvirgo
shshshhshshs I DIDNT EVEN NOTICE UNTIL U POINTED IT OUT
urfavvirgo
this is like a friendship right?
The Unknown King of Moderation
Sort of. Both sides (sometimes one side) work to help the other person
The Unknown King of Moderation
The moirail is obliged to pacify the other, to function as the better half. The two partners in a strong pale relationship will serve to balance and complement each other's emotional profiles, and thus allow their other relationships to be more successful.
urfavvirgo
Iβm helping flappy on her autism discovery journey <3
urfavvirgo
Wait so
urfavvirgo
How common is a kismesissitude
urfavvirgo
like
urfavvirgo
it only functions with two people hating eachother right?
urfavvirgo
thatβs how itβs supposed to be?
The Unknown King of Moderation
Yes
The Unknown King of Moderation
It can come about from a failed auspisticism
Anonymous
hey
Anonymous
what r u talking about lmao
The Unknown King of Moderation
Okay imma go work out catch you guys in like an hour