Post

(its 3:24 PM for me)

FRUIT

Are you actually the Casey girl

Good Morning Homie

no lmao

why arent you clown anymore?

Hes always a clown

Always has been and always will be

jake why you got so many opps?

you bad too many people ong

dont fall for his “goodwill”

Theres nothing good about him

he lies like its nothing

he oppresses and manipulates

he says disturbing things to 12 year old girls

ive seen all of it

and he knows it thats why he bans me

he wants the power all to himself

thats why he doesnt want new mods

good morning

hes raping this site front and back

damn

as soon as you disagree with him youre not his friend anymore

he quietly silences you

dagger?

oh god not this again

youre all way too paranoid about dagger coming back

DAGGER JR!

Hey Pookie

I love when you talk dirty to me

bro waht

fucking retards

kill yourself

Hey Fruit

choke me

Kinky

💯

Where are you guys getting these ideas lmao

The situation really isn’t that deep

lol for me it’s 22:10 and i’m at a bday party

hi

come back to life chat

im bored

not even denying it? it is that deep asshole

you ruined a once great website

This is a dictatorship.

wade

dont accept mod agaib

*again

Why

jake wants to use that to control you

dont accept it

Don’t worry I have a plan

he will have something to threaten you with

you can trust me i hate jake and you do too we have a common interest

join the discord

we need to talk

You’re in the WJE discord?

he wanted me to help him so i accepted

please join it

dagger also needs to talk to you

I can’t currently but I’ll see what I can do

as soon as possible

this is not a safe place to talk

see you there

I also use the uwu crew site for private conversation

no there are vital people on the discord its the best place

👍

Bro what are you even doing

No it’s not 😭

hey Jake

I do not make all the rules, nor do I make decisions for the site. I expressed my concerns as a moderator to Matt and HE made the decisions. He’s not some mindless pushover, he knows what he wants for HIS site and I made him aware of what was impeding on that. What I told him was based on input and discussion from multiple other mods. Just because I’m the most prominent and active doesn’t mean I’m the head of all this. I don’t have some sort of secret agenda, which Wade knows, assuming he read the long explanation I sent him.

You think I WANT control? It’s bad enough I have to deal with everyone’s shit already, I don’t want more responsibility on top of that. I’m just fulfilling the purpose that I was made a moderator for: making the site a good place for ALL users and carrying out what Matt wants.

#voteforjake

jake?

no vote for kanye

respond pookey

Yes?

hi

He would’ve been better than Biden

Lmao

Maybe not

Yeah no nvm

jake, stop getting political

politics are so gay

like you

real

hey flappy

IT WAS A JOKE

sometimes I hate being popular on this site

MHM

hot

jake show me your cock

QUOTEBOOK

No

PLEASE

That’s not quotable he says gay shit like that all the time

Which one

Jake, I would like to have gay sex with you

NO BC THAT WAS SO OUT OF CONTEXT

OUT OF THE BLUE

I wont tell Madi

PLEASE

quotebook again smh

Jake, come one

just one time

Madi will never know

IVAN CHECK UWU CREW

Fuck off toast I’m not a fag

you will be

What’s the name of it

you'll be a dirty luttle cumslut

toast stop it.

shit my fault

I see nothing wrong with this

oh yeah, you guys dont know me irl

did i kill chat by being gay?

Nah

oh good

yes

darn

Toast I’ll let you know if I get an answer

Gtg for now

alright

bye bye

Cya bro

holy shit i have shakey hands

it’s okay bro

YIPPIE

are you having a seizure

“Dirty little cumslut” is a reach tho

fine

What the actual fuck did I just read

can i call him a cumdumpster?

No what?

FINE

GOD

you guys are like my parents

"stop sexually harrasing people"

nty respectfully <3

fine

ill stop being gay

pls don’t grow up to be a child molester

FINE

God

just once?

no that’s weird

fine

so how are you virgo?

I’m good hru

What’s up

purple nurple

hey amy

Huh?

not much

I’ll give you a one time pass

LOOK AT FLAPPYS PFP

hey toast

To say that

ME AND HER ARE MATCHING

why is she an obese woman

no she has an extra chromosome

makes sense

exactly

Amy is it true

so anything happen while i was gone

nah it's been a slow day

hey jake

is what true

Yeah it’s been slow nothing crazy

Pretty sure dagger and the gang are going to try and start a revolution

jake why is your pfp leaves

why

:P

why is everyone changing

;like the mexican one

their pfps

I lost the matching one I had with Madi

or the french one

Scottish revolution was sick they should do that instead

What gang

Yeah they wanna do a WJE revolution it’s kinda werid

Wade mostly

….”

and whoever's running all the anti-me alts

he’s not fucking scary 💀

ty

Lmao

what

what did wade do now

Ur bf

excuse me

OH TEA

take that back

Yeah how's he gonna win Madi over by doing that

hes MY bf

OH MY GOODNESS

He’s spreading anti Jake

BACK OFF

^^^

not mine

Share him

i don't even want to see us in the same sentence

guys do I really seem like a dictator

cause I really can't see it

sometimes

when your MEAN

to me

But yeah wade wants Madi and also is tryna get Jake ran out of mod

THATS NOT BEING A DICTATOR

you seem like a harmless white person with a very high libido.

THAT'S BEING PLAYFUL

That's so true

Wade thinks you do

BUT IM NOT THAT WHITE

tHatS sO tRue

NO BUT COMMENTING ON MY CHIPOTLE CONSUMPTION WAS VERY DICTATOR-LIKE

and im loyal to wade

so yeah

okay

congrats

Probably cause daddy dagger says I am

do you want a medal

or something

Yeah

does wade have a daddy kink too?

I do HUH

no, but

maybe that's why he likes dagger so much

no

stalin

nuh uh u were trying to be Jake’s ….”cumslut” like five minutes ago

yes

i don't even wanna know.

at this point

I’m leaving

no a mommy one 💀

NO, I was making him my cumslut

NO WAIT

LMFG

wade is a bottom

sus

thanks for clarifying

my bottom

okay

I should buy out the site

good job

Toast is everything alright with wade

he's like

hella wack compared to when he first joined

did you not see my essay

on uwu

Yeah, hes fine

and he doesn't tell anyone anything

like literally

i explained everything

except you usually

in that essay

my god

does anyone really?

you people

don't read

What’s up

no

i

never mind

yes, yes we do

Yeas

JAKE

OH YEAH

I HAVE TEA

what amy

Who?

:(

dont start drama guys

but

but but

NO

No

smh like TEA yk like basically shit to talk abt ppl but in this case it’s nobody here expect for maybe one person

tea

spill it \

nty

spill the scalding liquid

damn

okay then

so

how are you guys

guys

I’m leaving

oh okay

bye

Not you

The other guy

huh

Wrong chat too

We set

okay

i guess

Amy are you and wade dating

yes

NO

they are

Like be fr

NO

yeahm they are

and he's cheating

NO

with my girlfriend

EW

NO

EW

No actually

No

and amy's cheating

no we aren't

also with my girlfriend

can you stop

amy admit it

you love madi

no

Jake stop being mean

Yep

it's impossible not to

she's so fuckin perfect

i literally hate you so much.

Amy do u have a thing for Jake

NO

Jake stop instegaing

omfg

your being very dictator-y rn

why

thats my thing

like ffs she is so amazing

i'm leaving

how could you not be madly in love with her

because i'm not

that's why

she turns gays back straight

no

that's how perfect she is

okay

AND SHE'S ALL FUCKIN MINE SO BACK OFF

GRRRR

why

MY MADI

are you

asking me

so many questions

👹

No reason but I’ll note that down

you sound like the pov tiktokers

🦆

the cringy ones

oh

exactly

oh

hey virgo

hey it looks just like you

ha ha

ykw sure if that’s what u guys are into 🤷‍♀️

what a coincidence

hey toast

wdym into

how are you?

who are you talking about

who is "u guys"

u and MADI

you and your gf

what are you saying we're into

whatever that is

this game goes so hard

eugh

man you people are mean

yes

I can never do anything without getting backlash from someone smh

please

👹”grrr”

HOW IS THAT A THING YOU CAN BE INTO

IT'S A JOKE

IM TRYING TO BE FUNN

Y

uh HUH

Back

it’s okay it was pretty funny

so h9ow are you guys?

damn, its dead

fr

hey jake

toast do you wanna hear about troll romance

sure

i think

The problem is that when the subject of troll romance is broached, our sparing human intellects instantly assume the most ingratiating posture of surrender imaginable.

But we will do our best to understand regardless.

Humans have only one form of romance. And though we consider it a complicated subject, spanning a wide range of emotions, social conventions, and implications for reproduction, it is ultimately a superficial slice of what trolls consider the full body of romantic experience. Our concept of romance, in spite of its capacity to fill our art and literature and to rule our individual destinies like little else, is still just that. A single, linear concept. A concept usually denoted by a single symbol.

<3

Troll romance is more complicated than that. Troll romance needs four symbols.

Their understanding of romance is divided into halves, and halved again, producing four quadrants: the FLUSHED QUADRANT, the CALIGINOUS QUADRANT, the PALE QUADRANT, and the ASHEN QUADRANT.

Each quadrant is grouped by the half they share, whether horizontally or vertically, depending on the overlapping properties one examines. The sharpest dichotomy, from an emotional perspective, is drawn between RED ROMANCE and BLACK ROMANCE.

RED ROMANCE, comprised of the flushed and pale quadrants, is a form of romance rooted in strongly positive emotions. BLACK ROMANCE, with its caliginous and ashen quadrants, is rooted in the strongly negative.

On the other hand, the vertical bifurcation has to do with the purpose of the relationship, regardless of the emotions behind it. Those quadrants which are CONCUPISCENT, the flushed and caliginous, have to do with facilitating the elaborate reproductive cycle of trolls. Those which are CONCILIATORY, the pale and ashen, would be more closely likened to platonic relationships by human standards.

There are many parallels between human relationships and the various facets of troll romance. Humans have words to describe relationships of a negative nature, or of a platonic nature. The difference is, for humans, those relationships would never be conceptually grouped with romance. Establishing those sort of relationships for humans is not driven by the same primal forces that drive our tendency to couple romantically. But for trolls, those primal forces involve themselves in the full palette of these relationships, red or black, torrid or friendly. Trolls typically feel strongly compelled to find balance in each quadrant, and seek gratifying relationships that each describes.

The challenge is particularly tortuous for young trolls, who must reconcile the wide range of contradictory emotions associated with this matrix, while understanding the nature of their various romantic urges for the first time.

Of course, young humans have this challenge too. But for trolls, the challenge is fourfold.

When two individuals find themselves in the flushed quadrant together, they are said to be MATESPRITS. Matespritship is the closest parallel to the human concept of romance trolls have. It plays a role in the trolls' reproductive cycle, just as it does for humans.

This is pretty obvious! Not much more needs to be said about this. Moving right along.

When a pair of adversaries delve into this quadrant, they become each other's KISMESIS. As one of the concupiscent quadrants, it plays a role in procreation as well. There is no particularly good human translation for this concept. The closest would be an especially potent arch-rivalry.

For instance, human players would never be able to adequately diagnose the relationship between the queen and her archagent. But troll players could immediately place it as a dead ringer for kismesissitude. They would think we were all pretty stupid for not getting it. And they would be right.

Trolls have a complicated reproductive cycle. It's probably best not to examine it in much detail.

The need to seek out concupiscent partners comes with more urgency than typical reproductive instincts. When the IMPERIAL DRONE comes knocking, you had better be able to supply genetic material to each of his FILIAL PAILS. If you have nothing to offer, he will kill you without hesitation.

The genetic material - WITHOUT GOING INTO MUCH DETAIL - is a combinative genetic mix from the matesprit and kismesis pairs, respectively. The pails are all offered to the mother grub, who can only receive such precombined material. She then combines all of it into one incestuous slurry, and begins her brooding.

This doesn't mean the initial combination was for naught, however. In the slurry, more dominant genes rise to the fore, while the more recessive find less representation in the brood. Especially strong matesprit and kismesis pairings yield more dominant genetic material. The more powerful the complement or potent the rivalry, the more dominant the genes.

TROLL REPRODUCTION SURE IS WEIRD. We all take a moment to lament how pedestrian the human reproductive system is, and further lament tha

wow, what an eccelent read

you guys ever seen cats fight?

t the phrase "incestuous slurry" is not a feature of common parlance in human civilization.

This quadrant involves a particular type of three-way relationship of a black romantic nature. Falling on the conciliatory side, it has no bearing on the reproductive cycle, except for indirect ramifications.

When two trolls are locked in a feud or some otherwise contentious relationship, one can intervene and become their AUSPISTICE. The auspistice mediates between the two, playing the role of a peace keeper, preventing the feud from boiling over into a fully caliginous rivalry.

Since such lesser feuds are quite common among trolls, there is a significant need for auspisticing parties. Without them, too many ashen feuds would become caliginous, and begin to conflict with other exclusive kismesis relationships, leading to a great deal of social complexity and sore feelings (even more so than black romance usually involves). Without auspisticism, the result would be widespread black infidelity.

The relationships each quadrant describes tend to be malleable, if not volatile, especially on the concupiscent half where more torrid emotions reside. It doesn't take much to flip a switch and transmute blackrom feelings to redrom, and vice versa.

In many cases, one party will have red feelings while the other has black. But it will often be the case that one party's feelings will swap to match the other's, since there is no quadrant which naturally accommodates such a disparity. But thereafter, it's not uncommon for the two to toggle between red and black in unison now and then. These scenarios naturally result in both red and black infidelities.

This sort of relationship volatility is why conciliatory relationships are an important part of troll romance.

An auspistice can stabilize particularly turbulent relationships. If the auspistice fails to mediate properly, or has no interest in the role, or perhaps has different romantic intentions him/herself altogether, then the relationship often quickly deteriorates into one of an especially hostile and torrid nature. There are many outside factors and influences tugging and pulling these relationships in different directions, and unlike humans who have very orderly, simple, straightforward romantic relationships without exception, trolls exist in a state of almost perpetual confusion and generally have no idea what the hell is going on.

Being confused by troll relationships is one thing we do have in common though.

This quadrant presides over MOIRALLEGIENCE, the other conciliatory relationship. A reasonable human translation would be the concept of a soul mate, but in a more platonic sense, and with a more specific social purpose.

Trolls are a very angry and violent race. Some are more hot-tempered and dangerous than others, to the extent that if left to their own devices, they would present a serious threat to society, or even to themselves. Such trolls will have an instinctive pale attraction to a more even-tempered troll, who may become their MOIRAIL. The moirail is obliged to pacify the other, to function as the better half. The two partners in a strong pale relationship will serve to balance and complement each other's emotional profiles, and thus allow their other relationships to be more successful.

It's often ambiguous especially among young trolls whether a bond formed between an acquaintance is true moirallegence, or the usual variety of platonic involvement. Furthermore, romantic intentions of a more flushed nature can often be mistaken for paler leanings, much to the frustration of the suitor.

But some pale pairings, as the one above, will be strikingly obvious to all who know them.

God you just can't get enough of this can you! That would have been a great point for a transition out of this illustrated sociological study, but ok, if you insist.

Now see, what's going on here is...

It's perfectly simple. When the full matrix of troll romance is in action, we have... uh...

Hey, why don't you figure it out! You should be an expert on all this by now anyway.

Later our troll hero would try to explain this to our human hero, attempting to convey all the nuance of troll romance through a nearly verbatim recitation of the preceding excerpts.

He would try to describe how rich and textured the troll romantic comedies were compared to the one dimensional schlock of our human cinematic counterparts. He would barely scratch the surface of Troll Will Smith's virtuosity with the delicate lattice of troll romance, as he would assist the bumbling fudgeblooded Troll Kevin James through the interwoven minefield-briarpatch of redrom and blackrom entanglements, all the while sifting through his own prickly romantic situation and ultimately learning the true meaning of hate and pity. But would they succeed before the imperial drone came knocking with his thirsty pails at the ready??? Yes, they would.

But John didn't understand any of this because he's a moron, and he wou

hmm

ldn't shut up about his awful bullshit Earth movies. He would just go on and on and on about that garbage.

But if there was one theme to be hammered through his thick skull, it would be the trolls' cultural preoccupation with romantic destiny. Yes, the romantic landscape is rife with false starts and miscues and infidelities, red and black. But every troll believes strongly that each quadrant holds one and only one true pairing for them, and it is just a matter of time before the grid is filled with auspicious matchups through the mysterious channels of TROLL SERENDIPITY.

In short, their belief is that for each quadrant there exists a pair or triad of trolls somewhere in the cosmos that were...

MADE FOR EACH OTHER.

hmm

Does that make sense or do I need to go over it again

here look

no its fine

that should help you visualize it

nice

want me to explain it in simple terms

okay good

no

oh fine

so matespritship is pretty much normal human love

moirallegiance is basically "platonic soulmates" who keep each other in check and benefit from the relationship

auspisticism is where one person (or troll) acts as a mediator between two to prevent them from fucking shit up and becoming kismeses

and kismesissitude is hate romance

does that make sense

okay good

hmm

interesting

very

EXPLAIN.

I WANNA KNOW MORE

I love that you're interested in this

this is like abt humans right

When a pair of adversaries delve into this quadrant, they become each other's KISMESIS. As one of the concupiscent quadrants, it plays a role in procreation as well. There is no particularly good human translation for this concept. The closest would be an especially potent arch-rivalry.

It also plays a part in reproduction

hey Virgo

hey Toast

it's a romance based on negative emotions

how are you?

for example, amy and wade are probably in a kismesissitude together

Madi and I are matesprits

huh

uh lemme think of another example

so like let me know if I’m completely wrong but maybe like how two people feel the need to prove themselves to eachother, but they hate that?

no they hate each other

romantically

sexually maybe

oh 💀

huh

^^^^

no but sexy red rapped abt that

Emily and Flappy are the closest thing I can think of for a moirallegiance

and I used to be an auspistice for Wade and Amy before they became caliginous

whts that

lmao the little black line

I hate when that happens

shshshhshshs I DIDNT EVEN NOTICE UNTIL U POINTED IT OUT

this is like a friendship right?

Sort of. Both sides (sometimes one side) work to help the other person

The moirail is obliged to pacify the other, to function as the better half. The two partners in a strong pale relationship will serve to balance and complement each other's emotional profiles, and thus allow their other relationships to be more successful.

I’m helping flappy on her autism discovery journey <3

Wait so

How common is a kismesissitude

like

it only functions with two people hating eachother right?

that’s how it’s supposed to be?

Yes

It can come about from a failed auspisticism

hey

what r u talking about lmao

Okay imma go work out catch you guys in like an hour