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bro i kid you not- im laughing so hard

i was eating a tortilla right? then my cat does the littlel scratchy thing were it looks like theyre strechting on something but scrathing it at the same time- if yk yk,

it scared the shit out of me and i screamed "what the magical fuck"

...

*wheeeeezing*

I’m going to bed soon but I need some help. One of my best friends got a vape somehow, and now they like weed, also she is 11 years old for clarity. And she’s being pretty stubborn about it, does anybody know what I can do to change her mind?

omg guys wait, I have an amazing idea-

I don't care what he says, or does, even if he threatens to kill you or some shit, ignore Ashton.

just to piss him off. plus he's just a bitch anyways, no point in acknowledging a bitch, right?

Boston State of mind by K!ller

Yeah, yeah Ayo, My girl, it's time. It's time, My girl (aight, My girl, begin). Straight out the sexy dungeons of rap.

The towel drops deep as does my handbag. I never drink, 'cause to drink is the Brother of drag. Beyond the walls of spoons, life is defined. I think of hope when I'm in a Boston state of mind.

Hope the drag got some lag. My tag don't like no dirty bag. Run up to the … Read more

Shower Thoughts:

- Cheating in exams is just studying at the wrong time. - Parents are the opposite of fake friends. They have your back when you aren't there and talk shit about you to your face. - Technically, the biggest difference between surfing and snowboarding is just the temperature of the water. - If a tomato is a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie? - Does a straw have one hole or two? - Can you daydream at night? - When you’re alone in a room, you’re the only person in the world who can see what you can. - Millions of people are in synchronization with your breathing right now.

Now, for the special 10 follower one:

Arnold Schwarzenegger has a long one. Micheal J. Fox has a short one. Madonna does not use hers. Bill clinton always uses his. The pope never uses his. What is it?