Christopher Walkin jokes

What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves?

Christopher Walken.

Christopher Walkin: "This is a literal universal remote! It actually controls your life! You can pause, you can rewi-"

Me: power button.

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie? Stephen can't walkie and Stephen can't talkie.

What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie? He can’t walkie or talkie.

Today, I spotted Johnny Depp on the clearance rack at Kmart. Kmart is currently trying to clear its inventory of wife-beaters.

What does Johnny Depp do when his kids are not home?

Cocaine.