Carbon Monoxide jokes
I hate these double standards.
If you burn a body at a crematorium you're "doing a good job". If you do it at home you're "destroying evidence".
Why did the noble gas cry?
Because all his friends Argon.
What is the difference between a coconut and your ex?
One is fun to knock down by throwing rocks at, the other one is a coconut.
Why did Hitler kill himself?
His gas bill was too high.
I saw a sign the other day that said "Maximum penalty for smoking is £1,000."
But that's not right. Surely the maximum penalty for smoking is Death.
