Canning jokes
What is a car that runs and can't?
What is a difference between a tree and a car? A car ๐ can drive and [a] tree ๐ฒ can not drive.
What is the difference between a magic house ๐ and a human?
A magic house ๐ก can fly, but a human cannot fly.
What time is it when you cannot walk? Time to get a wheelchair ๐ฆฝ.
What is the difference between a human and a can?
A human can walk and a can cannot walk.
What's the best thing about Alzheimer's? You can hide your own Easter eggs!!
What kind of bagel can fly?
A plain.
Disabled people can help the world to get a printed copy of "Leaning Tower of Pisa," exactly leaned at an angle.
Whatโs pink, black and has 17 nipples?
A trash can behind the cancer ward.
What time is it when you can smell smoke inside?
Time to get outside!
What is the difference between a human and a tree? A human can walk, and a tree ๐ณ cannot walk.
How many guns can an octopus hold?
9
You can make fun of adopted kids all you want. What are they going to do, tell their parents on you? Lol.
Do you know why I wish grass was emo? So it can cut itself.
What can fly?
Bird.
Iran? More like tin can, cause weโre going to kick their teeth in, am I right?
My cat sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the doctor once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her.
She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.
I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy Sh*t, my cat is a Democrat!
What is the difference between a car and a tree?
A tree cannot drive, but a car can drive.
What is a plane โ๏ธ that can not fly?
A fake one โ๏ธ
What kind of house ๐ can fly? A magic house ๐ !