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What's the similarity between a broken pencil and my life?

They're both pointless.

What’s the difference between a barcode and Rachel Sutherland’s wrist?

Nothing, they both get scanned for a fresh new pack of razor blades.

What does grass and Rachel Sutherland’s wrists have in common: nothing, they both get cut.

What's the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person?

They both hang...

What's similar between a 14 year old pregnant girl and the fetus inside of her?

They're both thinking, "Oh shit, my mom's going to kill me!"

When you have to get your prostate checked and you can feel the cold rubber of the glove, but you realize both the doctor's hands are on your shoulders.

There was a car accident, and the cops pull up to the crime scene to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said, "What happened here?" She responded by saying, "A car crash." They then asked, "But how did it happen?" She responded, "The cars crashed into each other." They finally said, "But why did it happen?" The lady said, "Oh, I know where you're going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas pedal, the car goes forward, and they both pushed it, so they both went forward and hit each other." One cop said, "Never mind, ma'am," and they started walking away.

The blonde lady then said, "Oh, and officers, my computer froze. Do you think I should put it in the microwave or in the oven?"

What is the difference between a retard and a zombie anyway?

They’re always hungry and shuffle around aimlessly, moaning... Oh, and it takes a bullet in the forehead to put them both down.

Uh!!!

  • 0

    • 2 weeks here.

    What do dicks and popsicles have in common?

    They both like to be sucked on, and they sometimes choke you.

    How are a bald eagle and a bald man similar?

    Because they both have eyes.

    One day, two friends found a treasure map. So they decided to try to find the treasure.

    After several hours they found the treasure. It was a suit that gives the person wearing it super strength. One of the friends wore the suit and hugged the other friend. They were both red.

    Lol, 1 week anniversary of me being on Worst Jokes Ever...

    J0K35: *LETS START A JOKING KEGGAR*

    A Joking keggar is where I get you drunk with some jokes, only on a special occasion.

    Okay, y'all ready to get drunk with raging jokes? OK LETS GOOOOo

    What do you call an LGBTQ+ disc jockey?

    A DG (dee gay)

    What does lava use when it can't walk properly?

    A volCANEo

    What do crackheads do when a black man got brutalized?

    They start a HIGHot (say it like hi-ot, _riot_)

    What is Satan's favorite DJ?

    MarshHELLo

    What do neck breakers use?

    Snapchat

    What did Twitter and Reddit eat with chocolate and marshmallows?

    Instagraham crackers

    Is this the last joke?

    No

    What is similar between a dog and my ex?

    They are both commonly known as bitches

    What number has a flu from a pig?

    Nine flu (swine flu)

    What did the loaf say when he was playing hide and seek?

    BREADY OR NOT? HERE I GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

    Who is the best anime girl?

    Well, it's pretty obvious 02 is on the second rank

    Why did Sally get caned?

    Because old men hurriCANED.

    That was all

    OR WAS IT?

    Yes, it was (Come back on Halloween for another Joking Keggar)

    What is similar between a ton of kids and some boxes?

    Both of those are commonly found in basements.

    What do Roblox bots do that's both a type of meat and an annoying thing?

    Spam.

    What did Mickey Mouse and Michael Jackson have in common?: (What *didn't* they have in common)

    Same red shorts, theme park in their backyard, white glove, soft voices, loved children, they both were black with white faces.

  • 2

    • What happens if the dumbest person from Europe goes to the US?

    The average IQ increases in both places.