Birthday Cake jokes

Patient: “Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.”

Doctor: “Next time, take off the candles.”

What kind of birthday cake do you get on September 11th?

Three small ones, so you can have a flight of different cake flavors!

I’m going back to the house to get some stuff for my dad, and then I’m going to have a car and a birthday party come up for the weekend at the end of the week. I was going to get my birthday cake for the day.

My birthday's on September 11th, I'm gonna turn the fuck up and throw a banger! Then rub my tits in birthday cake frosting!!! WOOOOOOOOO!

I went to the eye doctor and I couldn't read. They showed me a picture of a birthday cake and I thought it was a menorah!

There was a wedding so sad that even the cake was in tiers.

That time when you realize that Osama bin Laden and Carrie Underwood share the same birthday...

My friend gave me sugar for my birthday. She thought it was cheap; I thought it was pretty sweet.

Birthdays are weird. We celebrate being one year closer to dying. And we celebrate it with friends and family, which is totally not how we'll die.

We're all gonna die alone, not surrounded by friends and family.

Teacher: What's 3 minus 1? Me: I don't know. Teacher: How about this, you have three cakes, I take one. How many cakes do you have? Me: Three. Teacher: If I take one cake from your three, what do you have? Me: Three cakes and a dead teacher.