Awkwardness

Awkwardness jokes

I asked the doctor doing my prostate exam where I should put my pants. "Next to mine" was not the answer I was expecting.

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  • "I'm not sure why my girlfriend's father doesn't like me."

    "What was your first impression on him?"

    "I told him, she calls me daddy too."

    What can you say both at a funeral and during sex?

    This would be much better if you were alive.

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  • That awkward moment when you're checking yourself out in the window of a car and you realize there's somebody inside.

    My friend got mad when he caught me smelling his sister's panties. I don't know why he was mad, maybe because she was wearing them, or because his whole family was watching. Either way, it made the funeral a bit awkward.

    Justin: Hey.

    Josh: Hey man.

    Justin: Why only "man"?

    Josh: It feels weird saying the r a c e y names.

    Justin: I don't mind.

    Josh: Okay, S L A V E.

    Justin: Oh no, not T H A T one!

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  • When Stephen Hawking died, he saw the stairway to Heaven.

    He thought to himself, "Oh God, this is awkward!"

    They say masturbation is better with a dead arm. Apparently, I ruined that funeral.

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  • My friend was pissed off with me. I was sniffing his sister's knickers. It was worse that they were still on her. It was worse the family were there. It made the rest of her funeral really awkward.

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