Atleast Jokes

Well if someone ever calls u gay 🌈🏳️‍🌈 just say well atleast im straiter then the pole your mommy dances on 🤣🖕

my cousin said being gay was such a pain in the ass and i asked him why and i said cuz you get buttfu@ckd and he said no i get made fun of and i said why cuz you get buttfucked? and he said no terd then i said wow atleast im not the one with real pains in my ass bro

my stepdad has stage 4 cancer and is going through chemo therapy... atleast he saves money on shampoo and conditioner.

Her: I love kobe bryant!

Me: Helicopter Helicopter


Me: Atleast you don't say save the trees cus damn kobe is good

What's the difference between when I opened the window in a car wash and when Kawhi Leonard did it? Atleast my dad didn't get shot in the eye.

What did Kobe Bryant and Josef Vanicek have in common? They both won a trophy atleast once, Vanicek a 1x stanley cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes and they also both crashed and burned in a helicopter or airplane.

Dad: Alive Brother:orphan(fault=Mother) Me:dead on the inside but sadly alive Mother:Alive... Wait a minute.. I thought you were dead mom.. right your dead to me atleast.

Eminem: "He don't even know his own father Orphans: dang wish I could listen to that Eminem: atleast u have a rap God To call father

btw friend here also wants to do suicide

friend:why did i cross the road??? me:to get to the other side. friend:true!

friend:hey lets go hang out at the forest today! me:ok *grabs ropes for the both of us and rushes outside bc this is a lucky day* friend:hey atleast we did it!

friend:whats the best thing about me? me:you will eventually end. friend:hmmmmmm . . . true!

friend:what historical time influenced you the most? me:the great depression

if i could be an object id be glass because im see through and i can shatter with the minimum difficulty immediately!

my parents sometimes say im their sunshine! . . . because im painful if you look at me.

teacher:what does km/s mean? me+like almost all of the class:*in unison* it means kill myself but misspelled

friend:whats the best way to end a game? me:with death friend: . . . hmmm now that you think about it yeah! thats the best way!

when your about to jump down a cliff but you realize that you cant litter there

google says that your about 75% water but im make of 101% depression 101% anxiety 101% suicidal 101% stress

brain be like will_to_live.exe, happiness.exe, and many more others not found also you have now got crippling_depression.exe, anxiety.exe, suicide_thoughts.exe, suicide_attempts, and stressful_life.exe so so so much many more

how do you keep weeds away? just put a bucket of crippling depression and suicidal thought and attempts in the soil and then they just kill themselves. problem solved.

when you take antidepressants but they dont work it will just make you more depressed and thats a fact

a bored depressed suicidal person:*sees a dying person* dying person:p-l-pls c-c-c-call m-me a-an amb-b-bulancccee *wheeze* *dies* bored depressed suicidal person:hmmmm ur an ambulance dying person:*manages to get back up* bored depressed suicidal person:oooooohh goddddd dying person:*in a demonic tone* BUT NOT FOR ME~

roses are red inside im dead i have crippling depression some one pls shoot my head

when you finally open up to a person who you think will care and understand but it turns out that they dont you:*panickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanicking*

the only time you should lift your spirits up is when your gonna hang yourself

a made up story starting now so i went to school as usual theres a school shooting all the depressed suicidal people:*crave death* *walks up to shooter* all say KILL ME a made up story starting ending

in this one the friend isnt suicidal friend:wanna play a game? me:life wait no a game has a meaning friend: . . . *crickets* friend:calls suicide hotline me:wait no!!!!!

me:*has crippling depression* *asks mom why i was born* mom:hmmm i think i was drunk and on a lotta drugs me:hmmm tysm *gets the rope* mom:*making hanging puns* me:*hurries to the trash truck*

me:at this point ive lived about a decade depressed and suicidal that i dont struggle with it now, im good at it and its all normal

hope you enjoyed