Armless jokes
An astronaut has had a mid-life crisis. He decides to leave everything behind and become a country farmer.
He buys some land and equips himself with everything he needs. The following Monday, he's ready to go with his hoe in hand and is about to walk out the gate, but he can't get through.
Why, you might ask? He's got no arms.
Why couldn't the teacher let her kids out?
Because she has no arms to open the door.
Why couldn't the farmer tend to the crops?
Because he's got no arms.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Not Sally.
I took my 5 year old son to ride some roller coasters. I think he didn’t like it because I challenged him to a no hands contest.
He said, "But I don’t have any." He wanted to know what dark humor is. Now he knows what it is and what it feels like.
Bob has no arms.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
"It's not Bob."
Guy with no arms: Even if I don’t have arms, I can do everything you can do.
🎵if you’re happy and you know it clap your hands🎵
One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.
How did the man with no arms commit suicide?
We'll never know - he didn't leave a note.
What present did the armless kid get for Christmas?
He got gloves. Ohh, sorry, he could never open the present.
Armless guy: Even though I don’t have arms, I can do anything you normal people can do.
Me: 🎵If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands! 🎶
Little Johnny has no arms. Knock, knock, who's there?
Not Johnny.
What do you call a person with no arms and legs?
You can call him whatever you want; he's not coming.
A: Why did Sally fall off the swing?
B: Why?
A: Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Not Sally.
Joe was eating ice cream while walking on the street. He dropped his ice cream. Why?
B: I don't know, why?
A: Because Sally was driving the car.
Why did Sally fall dead?
Because she was on top of a tower and fell because she had no arms. Hahahahaha!
Why couldn't the orphan use the swing? Because they had no arms.
Armless child: Can you give me a hand??
Me: Ok.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she has no arms.
So, a man was on a ledge ready to kill himself because he got laid off at work and his girlfriend cheated on him. He was about to jump until he saw from a mountainside a little guy with no arms dancing around. So he thought, "Maybe my life ain't so bad." So he went to the mountainside. "Thank you," he said, "I was gonna jump off a bridge and kill myself until I saw you dancing, even though you have no arms. Dancing?" the armless man said bitterly, "My asshole itches and I can't scratch it."
What do you call a person with no arms?
Armless.