Are jokes
What if plants are farming us, giving us oxygen until we die, and turn into natural fertilizer which helps them?
What would happen if a dam broke when you are on it?
You would be dam unlucky.
If you're ever bored, rape an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Dad: Johnny! Johnny!
Little Johnny: Yes, Papa?
Dad: Did you hit your brother?
Little Johnny: No, Papa!
Dad: Telling lies?
Little Johnny: No, Papa!
Dad: Let me see your fist.
Little Johnny: Ha ha ha!
Dad: What is so funny?
Little Johnny: You are, Dad, because I don't have a brother!
Dad: >:(
Little Johnny: What? It's true!
Dad: You do have a point there, Johnny.
Little Johnny: Love you, Dad!
Dad: Love you too, son.
A man saw a kid on the road, and the man asked: "Where are your parents?" The boy: "..." The man left the adoption center.
My poem, roses are red, violets are blue. I will die very soon. 🔪
I need to fuck an emo girl... those bitches are limited edition!
Johnny is walking along, and a priest is coming the other way. Johnny says, "Hey, mister, why are you wearing your collar backwards?"
The priest says, "Because I'm a father."
Johnny says, "Yeah? Well, my old man's got three kids, and he don't wear his collar backwards."
The priest says, "You don't understand, son. I have thousands of children."
Johnny says, "You should wear your fuckin' trousers backwards."
To avoid getting drafted, a young man slips into a nunnery to hide from some draft board agents who are after him. Desperate, he approaches a nun and asks her to hide him.
“Get under my robes,” says the nun. “No one will look for you there.” The nun lifts up her robes and the man says, “Hey, that’s a fine pair of legs you have there, sister.”
“Yeah, well if you look a bit higher you’ll see a fine set of balls,” replies the nun. “I didn't want to get drafted either.”
These jokes are darker than the list of victims dead from cops.
Putin be like, Finland and Sweden are bullying me with NATO, the same NATO that can't even reload a gun! Russians are pussies!
Why are orphans so lucky?
Every crisp packet is family sized.
You are so hairy, you starred in Donkey Kong before!
You are so hairy, Bigfoot took your picture!
You are so ugly when you gave birth to your baby, you gave it carpet burn.
You are so ugly, when you went to a haunted house, you came back with a job application.
You are so fat you were able to occupy Wall Street all by yourself.
If dust mites are found in dust, bedbugs are found in beds, where are cockroaches found in?
(Pick-up line) If your tits are the Twin Towers... can I be your Osama?
Me: "Oh man, things are really happening for me! I have so much to do!"
Depression: "Lie in bed."