And jokes
What is the difference between a pornstar and a mosquito?
No one stops sucking.
Say yes if you wanna fuck.
Hi, this is John's Pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is our sauce!
Love is in the air...
Wrong! Nitrogen, Oxygen, and Carbon Dioxide are in the air!
What is Green and Red and goes round and round?
A frog in a blender.
(this next one is pretty bad, and I don't mean it, so don't get offended)
What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench?
One can support an average family.
Want my opinion on Mongolia? It has its pros and Khans.
What card is the slowest and slimiest?
Ace-nail.
A drunk walks into a bar and sees a beautiful woman at the other end of the bar and says, "Bartender, I want to buy that douchebag a drink."
The bartender says, "You can't talk like that! This is a respectable establishment, I'm going to throw you out!"
The drunk says, "Okay, I'm sorry. I'd like to buy the lady a drink."
The bartender goes to where the woman is sitting and says, "The, ah, gentleman at the end of the bar would like to buy you a drink, what will it be?"
She says, "Vinegar and water."
What's something yellow and cannot swim?
A bus full of children.
Why shouldn’t you pick on a midget with learning difficulties?
... Because it’s not big and it’s not clever.
What did the iceberg say to the firefighter?
"Come close and I’ll knock you out cold!"
One time a man climbed a mountain and saw a guy.
"Who are you?"
"I am mountain man!"
A dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
The "M" and "D" in "orphan" stands for Mom and Dad.
The only profession where one could have coronavirus and still go to work is a suicide terrorist.
What is a difference between a tree and...
What is the difference between the human rights act and a dad?
And walk.
What is your car? What was your time today after I had dinner night and night sleep night? Is it a night for you and a dinner night? Night dinner night? Was the snow? I had dinner night night dinner.
A penis has a bad life. His neighbor is an asshole, his friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed Jill's thigh and said, "You know you wanna." Jill said, "Yes," and lifted up her dress. Then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.