And jokes

A no legged manager runs the nearest pizza place called Your Pizza Is A Joke.

I (J0K35) worked there and this happened...

Manager: WHY ARE THE PINEAPPLES IN THE TRASH?

Me: Because nobody eats fucking pineapple pizza.

Manager: THAT'S IT! I'M KICKING YOU OUT OF THIS PLACE!

Me: You can't kick me out.

Manager: Why not? Huh?

Me: Because you need legs to kick, and you don't have any.

It was pornography class, and there was a break.

Two adults were "having a good time" till the teacher says...

Teacher: Hey! SAY ALL THE NUMBERS TO 10,000 NOW!

Adult 1: How about I say my ABC's?

Teacher: Go ahead, I guess...

Adult 1: A B C E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Teacher: Where's the D?

Adult 2: Inside me...

  • 0

    • What do Roblox bots do that's both a type of meat and an annoying thing?

    Spam.

    Jeffery Dahmer has two things: an RV and a pit.

    What is different about the two is that one can't move and one has gas.

    But what is similar is tha-

    Wait, what is Jeffery doing? He has a knife, he is pulling men's pants down, he is...OH SHIT WHAT THE F-!

    Sorry 'bout that......

    Now, as I was saying,

    What is similar about the two is that one has and is a cockpit.

    Wait, a cockpit- JEFFERY WHAT THE F-!

    Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, "Who created the Earth?" And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, "MY GOD!" And the teacher says, "Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth." Sally sits down.

    Then, the teacher asks, "Where do you go after you live a good life?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, "HEAVENS TO BETSY!" And the teacher says, "Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life." Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around.

    And then, the teacher asks the class, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around and says, "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I'm gonna lose it!" And the teacher faints.

    So I saw a 15 year old kid near a 15 year old girl checking her out.

    Then I told him, "What are you doing?"

    He told me he will decorate her locker, donate a lot of money to her, and buy her a lot of stuff.

    He then told me how easy would that be?

    I told him: "That sounds pretty SIMPle."

    Today is the day of 9/11, and we were in class making jokes, and somebody said, "That's sad." I was like, "Why?" And they said, "Today is the day the towers went down." I said, "Just like I did on your mum last night."

  • 5

    • Me: *listening to music under a tree and smiling*

    Random person who sees me: Awwww look at him, he looks so so happy ^w^

    Me: *actually listening to depressing music that makes me wanna kill and end myself but just smiles to show that everything's gonna be fine even if it won't*

    A Texan and an Alaskan walk into a room, and the Alaskan says, "My state is bigger." Then the Texan says, "It won't be when it melts."

    I remember having a crush on my math teacher, so I winked at her and said, "Don't worry, babe, I'll call you later."

    I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don’t understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, "what’s so sad?" and she said, "What do you think was running through these kid’s head before they died?" I replied, "probably a bullet." She gasped and said, "do you have any idea how insensitive that is? What do you think is running through their parent’s heads?" I said "probably all the money they're losing from this funeral."

    What's the difference between dark humor and normal humor?

    Normal humor is ten babies and one trash can.

    Dark humor is one baby and ten trash cans.

    Scroll down for explanation.

    Ten babies in one trash can; one baby in ten means that the baby was chopped up.

    The most unrealistic part of Chotta Bheem is not him eating a laddu and getting power. It's him eating a whole laddu in one shot.