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Why do you call a man that is physically handicapped and German?

A physically handicapped bisexual man that is promiscuous and German.

So I went to Comic-Con and saw a man with an arm missing, and I thought, "Cool display," until I heard him screaming and getting the other arm chopped off. Then I said, "Man, now that's a 10/10 display, wow!"

What's the difference between an emo kid and a pack of Oreos? The bar code on the emo kid gets longer every day.

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    • "Sonic Says", "If you're ever bored and have nothing to do, then just punch an orphan in the face. Who are they gonna tell? Their parents?"

    Welcome to Antonio’s pizza and abortion, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce!

    Stop with the emojis. They kinda just make the joke cringy. For example: How many ppl 🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷 does it take to have 🥒🍑🍑🍑🍑🍑???? Well, it takes at least 1 🤷 and 1 👰 and they make a perfect ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤. See how cringy it is. I mean sure, it's a dumb example, but still, just at least less emojis.

    What’s the difference between an emo and grass? The grass doesn’t cut itself :D

    A young 38 year old happy Muslim migrant living in Sydney wants to wed a beautiful young bride. He asks the local Aussie the minimum age to wed his yet unchosen bride. "Eighteen," the Aussie says, sipping a beer. "She has to be Eighteen."

    Okay, the Muslim man sighed, with disappointment and walks off. Next day he arrives with a 13 year old girl.

    "Wtf are you doing?" Aussie says?

    "You say this is okay," Muslim replied. "Fuck no, she must be at least Eighteen you sick bastard," says Aussie, flicking away his Winnie Blue cigarette. Muslim man leaves angrily.

    Next day Happy Muslim settles on a 14 year old girl from Punchbowl to be his bride. Aussies jaw drops, "What is wrong with you mate?" asks Aussie.

    Muslim man replies "You tell me to choose 'a teen', 'a teen', I chose a teen and now you come for my third and now fourth choice. Fuck you!"

    Aussie: "Eighteen not 'a teen' you sick mongrel."

    Me: Yo wanna play 9/11?

    My Friend: What’s that?

    Me: It’s a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.

    So you know there's like dog mixes, right? Like a Snoodle and that stuff, right? So why can't a bulldog and a shih tzu be mixed? 'Cause if they did, it would be called bullshit.

    So the coach got mad at me because I'm the only one on my team who is only a bit on the spectrum, and I was just keeping the ball to myself. The coach pulled me aside and said, "Pass to others." I said, "Why?" And he said, "There's no 'I' in 'team.'" I said, "Yeah, but there's an 'm' and an 'e.'"

    Dream tweeted, and I quote, "Babies kick pregnant women all the time, but I do it one time and I’m the one arrested."

    You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose 👃, but you can't pick your friends' noses 👃 👃 👃.

    Small word of advice: Don't wait till next month or next year to do stuff with the people you love, because they may be gone by then. You don't realize, but every second there is someone who dies, and it just could be your loved one.

    I was watching my daughter play at the park. A woman came up to me and asked which one was mine. I said I was still choosing.

    A man walked into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian said, "No, you won’t return it."

    I called the suicide hotline in Iraq. The person got excited and asked if I can drive a truck.