And jokes
Your dad is so f**king fat that when he bends over and comes back up, it's the next day.
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had too many PROBLEMS and not enough RAP.
An Emo kid in a tree falls. At the same time an apple falls from the same tree, what hits the ground first? The apple would be due to the kid's rope and noose.
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen! Ugh!”
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and angrily sits down. She says to a man next to her “The driver just insulted me!”
The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
What's a rapper's favorite type of exercise?
RHYME and REPEAT.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade once. It killed 300 people.
And then it exploded.
A lesbian couple and a gay couple are going to San Francisco. Who made it first?
The lesbian couple got there lickety-split.
The gay couple was still packing their shit.
What’s the difference between God and Hitler?
God made thousands of bread, Hitler made thousands of toast.
How long does it take a black woman to take out the trash?
About nine months and a day.
What does a pregnant slave and a "pay less" sale have in common?
Buy one, get one free.
My friend fell on the Nile river and Egypt last week.
He swears by it, but he’s in denial.
If a dog is white with black spots, then it is 90% great and 10% guilty because it half way starts crimes and is a mistake to the world and is punished by the white dogs that are full white and not mixed colors.
"ADHD is brainless and autism is braindead."
I hate autistic kids and ADHD people because they are stupid, special, retarded, brainless freaks, and they are stupid.
Kelly Clarkson and Ian Watkins of the Lostprophets both walk into a bar. The bartender asked, "Hitting on some 2-year-olds today?" It may have been an innocuous question, if it weren't for the fact that the bartender is Chris Hansen.
Jack and Jill went up a hill so Jack could eat her candy. But Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock because Jill’s real name is Randy.
Hi, I'm Adopt, and you guys hurt my feelings. It is not God :(😔😞😔🥺. I'm just a kid. I'm 7.
A blonde really got tired of all blonde jokes and decided to hang herself in the bathroom. As she locked the door, she yelled at her husband, "I'm hanging myself because I'm tired of jokes about us blondes being stupid!" Her husband broke into the bathroom and saw his wife with a rope tied on her toe. The husband said, "I thought you were hanging yourself." She said, "Yes, I am!" The husband replied, "Usually when people hang themselves, they tie the rope around their neck, so why is yours tied on your toe?" She said, "I tried that, but I couldn't breathe."
There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island, and the nearest shore was 50 miles away.
The redhead swam, trying to make it to the other shore. She swam 15 miles, drowned, and died.
The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died.
The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.
What’s the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler?
Usain finished the races.