And jokes

What’s the difference between a Jew and an American? The American makes it out of camp.

What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?

A freezer doesn't scream when you put meat inside it.

Why do vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat?

Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don’t like where real meat comes from.

What do LGBTQ folk and folk with scoliosis have in common?

None of them are straight.

"A llahu Aks into a bar..."

And it blows up!

Little Jim's friend told him that if he farts, he will give him a tenner. Little Jim tries to fart, but he poos himself, and he is bullied until he puts the poo on the bullies' face.

A pedophile and a priest run a race.

You can’t beat yourself in a race!

Israel and Palestine jokes are hard at these times.

It’s all about execution.

How do rappers like their pizza?

With extra bars and dough!

Paul Walker started in 3 movies: Fast and Furious, Gone in 60 Seconds, To Die Hard.

Diddy and Hawk Tuah walk into a bar. Hawk Tuah says, "Spit on that thang!" Only one walks out. 💀

A Jew and a Jew walk into a bar. The goy says, "What do you want?" The first Jew says, "Give it alcohol." The second Jew says, "My son ran away and became Christian." Another Jew pipes in, he says, "My son too!" The bartender turns around and says, "You're not going to believe this..."

My dog is named Max, and he likes to eat dog food. Therefore, everyone named Max likes to eat dog food.

Tons of people committed suicide on 9/11 by destroying government property.

Not to mention and by plane.

You know how bad of a person you are when you figure out how long you wait to smash. For me and my girlfriend, it was between the first plane crash and the last tower falling.

Me: Are you an orphan?

Orphan: Yes, how did you know and what gave me away?

Me: Where's your parents?

Orphan: They died and I have a phone, why?

Me: Because it has a home button.

I’d make a joke about prostitutes and women sleeping with multiple men, but it would just be whore-ible.

What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?

There used to be two until they divided into multiple pieces.

Roses are red, violets are blue, My name is Bucky, And I am stucky.

Roses are red, violets are blue, and if you're my friend, I'll be there till the end.