And jokes

The guy called up to the orphanage, then he asked, "Where are the kids' faces?"

Then another guy said, "Sorry, there's no homepage."

What did the girl and the orphan have in common? Their parents weren't home.

What is the difference between an orphan and a non-orphan? You can slap the orphan, but not the non-orphan because they can actually tell their parents.

Yo mom's so fat, I went over to her house a few years ago and wanted to watch TV.

So I asked for the TV remote, and she's still trying to get it!

Emos are weird to me because they dress up all black, and you know I don't like that, so that's why I don't like it.

What do Americans and Rubik's Cubes have in common?

They both have a history of separating colors.

Why can't people in wheelchairs be gay? Cuz you can't be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

Jack got high and grabbed Jill's thigh and said, "I know you wanna!"

Jill said yes, lifted up her dress, and then they had some fun,

But stupid Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.

What's the difference between an emo kid and an apple?

One hits the ground when they fall from the tree.

I got sent to the principal's office today because I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and screamed, "HOT WHEELS!"

What's green and has a thousand nipples?

A garbage bag in the alley behind a breast cancer clinic.