And jokes

What is the difference between an orphan and cotton candy?

Answer: The cotton candy gets picked.

My mom gave my friend a blow job for good luck on his job interview, then my mom gave my other friend a blow job for his interview, and they both got the job. Now who needs good luck? Just ask my mom. My mom is a good luck charm.

What do my mom and a basketball have in common?

My mom's tits and ass are bouncy, just like a basketball.

You are playing as Ukraine in Military Tycoon, and then someone kills you. You see who killed you in nuke revenge, and it says "Putinmoserfucer2342."

Why were the Twin Towers destroyed?

Because they ordered pepperoni and they got plane.

They say if Viagra lasts more than four hours, call the doctor? I’m just wondering, it’s been six hours and I’m still hard, should I call the doctor or hop on another woman?

What’s the best part of fucking Noor’s vulva (btw Noor is black)? If my dick is right beside Mara’s vulva (btw Mara’s white and so am I).

Guy: Do you know how to draw woman's rights?

Girl: No, how?

Guy: All you need is a blank paper and reality.

What's the difference in Japanese Kamikaze and 9/11?

There is none, they both go up in flames.

Yo, barber fucked up so bad he pulled out a "Plants vs. Zombies" map and that shii fit perfectly.

"I've only been ripped off twice in my life. The first time was when I ordered three kebabs and they only delivered two. The second time was when we signed Cristiano Ronaldo."

-Al Nassr owner

Had an amazing night with this girl, woke up, and it was my aunt. Now I’m in love.

My grandma walked up on my doorstep and I grabbed my bible... I thought she was a smurf...