And jokes

Yo mama is so retarded, they tell her it was gonna be chilly outside, she went and got a bowl!

Why are the Twin Towers mad?

Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza, and I got plane'd.

What’s the difference between a pig and Maddie McCann?

Least a pig had an apple in its mouth when it was spit roasted.

Why can’t USA and England play chess?

The USA has no towers, and England doesn’t have a queen.

Me going to jail for telling the orphan he has 363 days because mothers and Father’s Day.

Today I got a lecture from my mother, and congratulated her. Why?

Because she managed not to damage me in a physical fashion.

What's the difference between me and a registered sex offender?

I am not registered.

So, I was raping this girl the other night, and she said, "Please just think of my kids!" I was like, "What a freak."