And jokes
My stepmom kicked me out of the house because I was raped and got pregnant. I kicked her to death because she had sex and gave birth to my rapist stepbrother.
Women are like grenades: you pull the ring and BOOM, the house is gone!
My mom said, "Take out the trash," and I said, "Okay." The next day she asked, "Where is your sister?" and I said, "In line to get crushed."
Adam and Eve had sex. It was paradise.
God made Adam and Eve.
Satan made Adam and Steve.
When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and remember, there are no speed bumps.
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One smashes open when you hit it with a sledgehammer, and the other is a watermelon.
I saw an ISIS video and I got the theme stuck in my head. I was humming it the next day at work when my Arab co-worker said, "soon, my brother."
I got my sister a trampoline for her birthday, but she won’t get out of her wheelchair and use it.
The shovel is a ground breaking invention.
*Slaps and laughs*
Oliver Savage and Jack Savage who goes to TTC in Frinton in England.
"Sing in music lesson"
"I want to die, I want to die, I want to choke myself, break my neck and die."
Oliver Savage and Dr. Mummy.
A man and a boy are walking into a forest. It begins to get dark. The boy says "Mister, I'm scared." The man replies "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone."
The real reason Steven Hawking died is he was drunk and tried to go down a flight of stairs.
What are the similarities between an American teen and an old Muslim man?
They both choose who they want.
Why did the cat meow?
Because it's a cat, and they meow.
Why did Steven Hawking die?
He lost Wi-Fi connection and didn't get the data plan.
What's the difference between your job and a dead hooker?
Your job still sucks.
A woman comes to the doctor and tells her, "Doctor, my husband wants intense sex all day, what should I give him?" The doctor says, "My number."