American jokes
What do you call the most fucking racist and obnoxious country in the fucking entire fucking omniverse? NORTH AMERICA!
And if you disagree just 'cus you're American, I don't give a fuck, you low life cunts. Plus, if you don't think you're racist, um, hello people? Motherfucking George Floyd!
Why do Americans always win at the shooting Olympics?
Because they train at the best school.
Q: What is a Karen called in Europe?
A: An American.
What is the definition of African-American Vienna sausages?
cocks of African-American men
A science teacher got on the Space Shuttle Challenger after winning a contest out of 11,000 other teachers.
Imagine being one of the losing teachers in that contest, watching the Space Shuttle Challenger, and thinking, "Talking about dodging a bullet!"
Americans live in the U.S.A. The quiet kids live in the U.Z.I.
What do the initials ACLU stand for?
🤔
American Communist Lawyers Union.
As an American, I like cars. And like all car enthusiasts, even just a little scratch can ruin a brand new car.
So why is it that we go to different countries like India and see that almost every car is completely totaled? I guess we have different meanings of "it's just a scratch."
Americans be like: "Here is the US, we drive on the right side of the road."
England be like: "Here in the UK, we drive on the left side of the road."
Russians after a car accident be like: "Here in Russia, road is road."
You take a plane from Australia. Your mom is American, your dad is British, and your brother (and you) is Canadian (well, because they traveled along many places). You are eating dinner, but you realized you were going to Europe.
You went sleepy, and you forgot your pet named "Strallia." But she could not go anyways, so you had to leave her. When you went to Europe, you were in the "COUNTRY-SIDE."
What's the difference between an American police man and a Christian?
At least a Christian kneels in church.
Why are Americans so bad at chess? Cause they lost 2 towers.
What show do orphans hate?
"American Dad."
Where is Colorado?
Americans don't like playing chess with Muslims; last time they did play, they ended up losing two towers.
The Americans.
Why don't Japanese people like iPhones?
Because they are afraid of American airdrops.
What is the difference between an American and a computer?
An American doesn’t have trouble shooting.
What's the difference between an American school and a shooting range?
My dick doesn't get hard at the shooting range.
The Trump family are flying from New York to DC when Donald looks down on the cities below.
Trump: "I think I’ll throw a $1000 bill out the window and make some American happy."
Melania: "Oh honey, why not throw ten $100 bills out the window and make ten Americans happy?"
Ivanka: "Even better daddy, throw 100 ten dollar bills out the window and make 100 people happy."
Pilot: "Why don’t you all jump out the window and make the whole country happy?"