All jokes
You're all gay. HEHEHE!
Why was the Cheetah not allowed to do tests?
Because it always cheated.
Teacher: Tell me a moral story.
Little Johnny: Once my grandfather was in WW2. He saw everyone praising to kill him. For example, we should sneak up and kill him. We get the helicopter above and shoot him from there. My grandfather heard this, he got his gun and shot them all.
Teacher: What is the moral even?
Little Johnny: Never plan to kill my grandfather.
What makes a cult and a racist family of 5 common?
Not all are friends.
What do I think about the Kennedy assassination?
First of all, he should have had a roof on that car.
Little Johnny was in class, and his teacher asked, "How many of you guys are Trump fans?" Since the entire class wanted to be liked by the teacher, they all raised their hands, well, except Little Johnny. So the teacher asks, "Why are you being different again, Johnny?" So Little Johnny says, "Well, because I'm a Democrat. My mom is a Democrat, and my dad is a Democrat, so I'm a Democrat!" So then the teacher responds with, "Well, what if your mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?" Well, Little Johnny says, "A Trump fan!"
You're like a cat, all you do is eat and sleep.
Little Johnny went on a camping trip. All the tents were taken, so he shared with the teacher. So Little Johnny says: "Can I play with your bellybutton? My mom always lets me when we camp." So the teacher says: "Sure." 5 minutes later the teacher says: "Woah, woah, woah that's not my bellybutton!" Little Johnny says: "Woah, woah, woah, that's not my finger."
I had sex with twins. Well, I think it was twins. All my rage victims look alike.
What is a snake's favorite drug?
Adder-all.
This is bullshit! Stop showing cheesy and dumb jokes! This website is for dark humor, insults, and morbid content! All of you who don’t talk about the following, go die!
Did you know that if you die you can still be a part of family game night!
All you have to do is have your family cremate you and put you in an hour glass, and the games that use hour glasses, well, you will be a part of family game night.
Here's what to do if an annoying person keeps talking to you. First, ignore them until they ask you if you're going to respond. Then ask them: if they were walking down the street and a rabid dog suddenly started barking at them, would they get on all fours and bark back? After that, continue to ignore them.
Never let an orphan watch Fast and the Furious.
All they will talk about is how great their family is.
20 years later
Johnny: Hey dad.
Dad: Yea?
Johnny: Fuck you, I ain't comin' back to your grave in 16 years, then ima come back, BITCH!
Dad: Doing the same thing I did to you and your mother, ay? I deserve it :( ;O not real...NOT A FUCKING ALL.
Johnny: Yea you kinda fucking do.
Dad:...
You are all fucking disgusting!
Good news, people! Michael Jackson is still alive. They found him hidden away in a goat pen with all the kids!
Me: Name all the planets.
Other person: Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Neptune, Mercury, Uranus.
Me: Not my anus!
My girlfriend said to me, "Dear, I think you have hit an animal, there's blood and dents all over the bonnet."
I said, "No, love, I'm not waiting for a Black Lives Matter rally."
What do you call a group of Emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
What jumps and never let's go?
An Emo kid.
I bet all Emos want to be like their biggest influencers some day.
Dead.
Why do Emos want to be the "Scene" these days?
The only thing I've "Scene" from them is their suicide rate climbing, it's starting to climb quicker than they did to get to the top of whatever they jumped off.