Adoptive Parent jokes
One man's trash is another man's treasure... Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you're adopted.
What's an orphan's favorite store?
Ashley Home Store.
We are always joking around about being adopted, when really we are still living in the orphanage.
Dad: Son, you're adopted.
Son: Oh wow, I wonder who my real parents are.
Dad: We are your real parents. Your adopted parents are coming to pick you up.
An adopted kid is walking to school when an emo kid approaches him. He says the emo kid, "Do you have rope?"
"No," replies the adopted kid.
"Dang it! I hate you," says the emo kid. "Now the adopted one is angry. Well, at least I'm loved," says the adopted kid.
If you know an emo kid, please stay away. The depression is contagious. I'm a survivor.
Like if you dislike emos.
What flavor do you buy an orphan?
Self raising.
A bully told an orphan to cry to his parents, so he did.
His adoptive parents were very supportive about the situation, and everything was settled. He died in an accident a day later.
As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers.
Father: "Son, you were adopted."
Son: "What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!"
Father: "We are your biological parents. Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in 20 minutes."
I don't like to use the word "kidnapping". So I just use the term: "surprise adoption."
How to tell your kid he's adopted:
Son, I'm a virgin.
My sister and I were both adopted from the same country, and my parents say they got us on a "two for one special."