Vegetative Whore

Today I was asked if I was in favor of legalizing prostitution.

I admit I haven't given it much of a thot.

I started working at the AISH office a few months ago.

I felt like I wasn't fitting in. Then my coworker showed me where the pepper spray and emergency contraception pills were.

Now I feel like I belong.

Q. What's the difference between an AISH worker and a prostitute? A. You don't have to pay the AISH worker.

What's the second difference between a prostitute and an AISH worker? When the AISH worker reports you for rape, the cops are more likely to take her seriously.

Say what you want about Jeffery Dahmer, but he always managed to get a head.

What did the priest say when he walked into an elementary school?

Let us prey.

Yo momma's an AISH worker.

I don't think it's a good idea for AISH workers to date each other.

If there's ever a shooting at one of those offices, the kid would lose both parents.

Did you hear about the bull who went on a shooting rampage?

I guess he was a little deranged.

Political correctness has gone too far! You have to say "cognitive decline" rather than "Alzheimer's ridden shitbag"!

Trump should be grateful for DEI.

How else could a mentally handicapped person be elected President?

My first thought when I read Betty Pear's obituary was, "Thank God for Alzheimer's!"

If you're ever in need of a punching bag, just go to your local Alzheimer's unit.

They'll forget you were there in like three minutes.

Apparently there was a woman from Australia who had sex with 500 men in one day.

That's like a real life "Your mom" joke.

Q. What do you call a biracial kid in a vegetative state?

A. A mixed vegetable.

Q. What do you call a rich person who is in a vegetative state?

A. A loaded potato.

I was going to make a bulimia joke, but suddenly it just felt so empty.

Tonight, I picked up an anorexic prostitute.

It was really easy because she was only about 90 pounds.

It's good that Canada doesn't have the death sentence for treason anymore.

Danielle Smith is so fucking fat she'd get stuck in the gallows.

Dog toys are getting out of control.

My mum's dog has a round bison bone.

Looks like he was chewing on Tracy Latimer's hip or something.