You know how bad of a person you are when you figure out how long you wait to smash. For me and my girlfriend, it was between the first plane crash and the last tower falling.
Shower thoughts
@showerthoughts
It’s OK if emo kids always hang from the trees, but if we do it, it’s considered against the law.
I wonder if Kobe Bryant enjoyed his last flight.
Why cant homeless people be gay?
They dont have a closet to get out of
I’d make a joke about prostitutes and women sleeping with multiple men, but it would just be whore-ible.
Why are Black women dating white men?
So their kids don’t have to worry about not meeting their father.
What tree is every emo kid trying to find?
The hanging tree.
What do Drake and math have in common? They’re both hard for kids.
I don’t understand why Christians are so against body piercings. Didn’t Jesus have four?
How do you know when a fat person stops eating? You read about it in the obituary.
Your mama is so nasty.
She showed up to Red Lobster with her own crabs.
What’s the difference between weed and pussy?
If you can smell weed from across the room, it means the weed's good.
What’s the difference between dark jokes and cotton?
Some people don’t pick it.
Why do Black people go to a confession stand at the Catholic Church?
They wanna know what it’s like to speak to a father.
What does a gynecologist and delivery driver have in common?
Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box.
What comes after 69?
Period.
What did the man say in the morning after beating up his wife?
"I woke up Chris Breezy."
I'd tell a bad baby joke, but I decided to abort.
What do you call a gay drive-by?
A fruit roll up.
What song do supportive parents of a closeted child love?
“The Son Will Come Out Tomorrow.”