You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
Shower thoughts
Doctor: you’ll be at peace soon
Man: am I dying
Doctor: no, your wife is.
What’s the worst part about a dead prostitute
You end up doing all the work
What’s the difference between Santa and my dad
Santa got the milk
What is the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus? You’ll only need a single nail to hang the picture frame-up
What is the worst thing your sibling can steal from you? Your virginity
Why are carpenters never horny after work? Because they’ve already spent all day getting hammered and nailing things
Who is Bill Cosby’s favourite Disney princess? Sleeping Beauty
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
I got kicked out of flight school so I decided to learn from the experienced pilots (Isis)
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What do an emo girl and a blind girl have in common?
Black is their favourite colour
What do you call two brunettes and a blonde in the NFL? Two tight ends and a wide receiver!
Why do people in Alabama like peanut butter and jelly? because it’s in bread
What do KFC and a brothel have in common? They’re both full of greasy chicks
Today was a really bad day. My mother-in-law was hit by a cab AND I lost my job as a cab driver!
Why did the blonde stare at the Ford? Because it said, Focus
What did the blonde say when asked if her turn signal worked? “Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.”