How do you blind an Irish woman? You put a bottle of scotch in front of her.
Shower thoughts
How do you blind an Irish woman?
You put a bottle of Scotch in front of her.
What is the definition of confusion?
Three blind lesbians in a fish market.
What is the definition of confusion? Three blind lesbians in a fish market.
What is the definition of confusion?
Three blind lesbians in a fish market.
I'm going to make a city just for people with special needs.
I'll call it Downtown.
What's the difference between a six-year-old and a submarine?
I've never been inside a submarine.
What is Helen Keller's son's name? Hrrrrrrr.
Did you hear about the woman who broke up with the man who had a small penis?
When his friends ask how he’s doing, he said, “I wasn’t that into her.”
Did you hear about the guy who got fired for having sex with his clients?
He was a great veterinarian.
What do noodles and women have in common? They both wiggle when you eat them.
How do you know you’re at a gay cookout? They’re putting your sausage between two buns.
Something you can say about a restaurant, but not your partner:
"So you’re open 24 hours a day?"
What’s something you can say to a waiter, but not your wife?
"Does this come with anything?"
Who’s stronger in a relationship, a man or a woman? A woman, because it takes six men to carry him to his grave; it only takes one woman to put him there.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
I hooked up with my German girlfriend. It was really distracting when she kept saying her age.
Why are there more female history teachers than male?
Because women like to bring up the past.
What do you call a blowjob from a girl who has autism?
Special head.
Why should you always give an emo a high five in the hallway? You can’t leave them hanging.