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Shower thoughts
What's a kidnapper's favourite shoe? White vans
When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram
Why are people in Japan so thin? Because it didn't end well the last time a Fat Man was there.
Why did the slave go to college? To get his master's degree.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Google is a woman because it doesn’t let you finish a sentence before it makes suggestions.
My mother-in-law would have been on one of the planes that crashed on 9/11. Had I known in advance, I would have bought her the ticket
What is the worst thing your sibling can steal from you? Your virginity
What’s a vegetables favorite dance
The cabbage patch
What do gay men and drug dealers have in common? They both get a lot of crack
Why does your grandma like gardening so much? Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees
What do you call an Australian visiting the UK on holiday? Returning to the scene of the crime.
What is the best joke of all time? Feminism
What do you call a paraplegic stuck in a tower? In trouble
I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”
Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad left and never came back home with the milk.
What is the difference between a dog pound and an orphanage? In a dog pound, people actually want them.
How did the cannibal know the girl he was eating for dinner had COVID-19? She lost her taste.
Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy? Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games