Shower thoughts

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Blind

How does a blind person know they've wiped their ass enough?

Difference

What's the difference between a priest and a rabbi? A rabbi cuts it off, a priest sucks it off.

Women

Why don’t women wear mini skirts in the winter?

Because they’ll get chapped lips.

Girl

What does it mean if you can remember a girl's eye color?

She had small tits.

Girl

What's the best response to a girl saying, 'What's up?'

'If I tell you, will you sit on it?'

Gay

How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?

They only have a back door.

Slavery

I was at my grandparents' and saw someone breaking into a car. I told my grandpa, "He's trying to break into the car!" He said, "No, ours is in the garden."

Woman

How do you blind an Irish woman? You put a bottle of scotch in front of her.

Blind

How do you blind an Irish woman?

You put a bottle of Scotch in front of her.

Confusion

What is the definition of confusion?

Three blind lesbians in a fish market.

Lesbian

What is the definition of confusion? Three blind lesbians in a fish market.

Blind

What is the definition of confusion?

Three blind lesbians in a fish market.

Special

I'm going to make a city just for people with special needs.

I'll call it Downtown.

Difference

What's the difference between a six-year-old and a submarine?

I've never been inside a submarine.

Hellen Keller

What is Helen Keller's son's name? Hrrrrrrr.

Woman

Did you hear about the woman who broke up with the man who had a small penis?

When his friends ask how he’s doing, he said, “I wasn’t that into her.”

Work

Did you hear about the guy who got fired for having sex with his clients?

He was a great veterinarian.

Common

What do noodles and women have in common? They both wiggle when you eat them.

Gay

How do you know you’re at a gay cookout? They’re putting your sausage between two buns.

Restaurant

Something you can say about a restaurant, but not your partner:

"So you’re open 24 hours a day?"