Shower thoughts

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I don’t know why I go to the gym. Being healthy is dying as fast as possible, and I really want to speed that shit up.

My grandma always looks at me when we go to a wedding and says, "You’re next!"

When we attend a funeral, I say, "You’re next!"

I suggested to my girlfriend that she would look sexier with her hair back Apparently that’s insensitive to someone during chemo

A lesbian couple and a gay couple are going to San Francisco. Who made it first?

The lesbian couple got there lickety-split.

The gay couple was still packing their shit.