Shower thoughts

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Bike

What kind of bike do women ride?

A menstrual cycle.

Irish

What do you call an Irish lesbian? A gay lick.

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  • Lesbian

    What's a lesbian's favorite candy?

    Licorice.

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  • Sex

    What is the speed limit for sex? 68, because if you go any faster, you’ll have to turn around.

    Common

    What do masturbation and brain damage have in common? After a few strokes, there’s no going back.

    Blonde

    What do you call a blonde girl standing on her hands?

    A brunette with bad breath.

    Masturbation

    What do masturbation and brain damage have in common? After a few strokes, there’s no going back.

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  • Toothpaste

    Q. What’s white, sticky, and better to spit than to swallow?

    A. Toothpaste.

    Swimsuit

    Why was the two-piece swimsuit invented?

    To separate the meat section from the dairy section.

    Sex

    My neighbor's daughter gave me a three-course meal last night:

    Starters - role play and stripping.

    Main course - Reverse Cowgirl.

    Dessert - Blowy.

    Cowgirl

    Why is reverse cowgirl illegal in Alabama? Because you should never turn your back on family.

    Emo

    If a pregnant emo kills herself, is it murder-suicide?

    Suicide

    If a pregnant emo kills herself, is it murder-suicide?

    Abortion

    How do you flatten curves?

    With an abortion.

    Sex

    What does a one-night stand have in common with earthquakes? You never know how long they'll last.

    Common

    What does a one-night stand have in common with earthquakes? You never know how long they'll last.

    Church

    Did you hear about the streaker in church? He was caught by the organ.

    Santa

    Why does Santa come down the chimney? Because he knows he isn't allowed to come in the back door.

    Viagra

    There's a new Viagra and prune juice diet that's out.

    Unfortunately, you can't tell if you're coming or going.

    Viagra

    What do you get when you mix Viagra with spinach?

    Strong to the finish.