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Does it look like I give a fuck
D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.
How did Santa feel when he got stuck in the chimney?
Claus-trophobic
Wanna hear a couple of short jokes and a long joke?
Joke,
Joke,
Jooooooooooooooke.
The only thing flat earthers have to fear...
... is sphere itself.
Two guys were beating up someone in an alley, so I stepped in to help.
He didn't stand a chance against the three of us.
Never challenge death to a pillow fight.
Unless you're prepared for the reapercushions.
My three favourite things are eating my family and not using commas.
What does a cigar and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
A friend took me out to his shed and was showing me all his tools, when he pointed to a ladder. "that's my step ladder" he said "I never knew my real ladder."
What goes cackle cackle *bonk*?
A witch laughing it's head off.
