GG Miller

@ggmiller

If you're that depressed, reach out to someone. And remember, suicide is a permanent solution.
Registered on · 51 followers · Last active 2 months ago

Humpty Dumpty

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the kings horses and all the kings men, said "Fuck him, he's only an egg."

Forehead

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Your forehead is so big, your mom spent half of the time in the delivery room giving birth to just your head.

Priest

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A priest, a rabbi, and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, “Is this some kind of joke?”

Police

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Police arrested two kids yesterday. One was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one, and let the other one off.

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!” The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form contains only four lines:

1. What was your income for the year?

2. What were your expenses?

3. How much have you left?

4. Send it in.