GG Miller

What can you break, even if you never pick it up or touch it?

Math riddle: If I have 12 bottles of wine in one hand, and 9 in the other, what do I have?

What can you catch, but not throw?

What do people use more than you that is yours?

If you’ve got me, you want to share me; if you share me, you haven’t kept me. What am I?

I’m light as a feather, yet the strongest person can’t hold me for five minutes. What am I?

I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.

What is always in front of you but can’t be seen?

I’m tall when I’m young, and I’m short when I’m old. What am I?

College is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you, or they'll send your kid back.

When people say they get ho's: You don't get no ho's, the only ho's you get is in yo draws.

I was going to give him a nasty look, but he already had one.

I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

When I was a boy, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive... It's a good thing my older brother told me about it.

Just burned 2,000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.

Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app, and it just sent an ambulance to my house.

Smoking will kill you.

Bacon will kill you.

But, smoking bacon will cure it!

Two wrongs don't make a right. Take your parents as an example.

Math Teacher: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?"

Student: "A drinking problem."

what has a head a tail but no body?

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