If a furry looks like an animal, sounds like animal, and acts like an animal, can I run over it with my car like an animal?
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I am a youtuber and streamer, I play basically anything you can think of, Minecraft, Terraria, sometimes Roblox, and non-professional sports.
The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing someone's cast.
A plane is about the crash into the ocean, and the passengers are freaking out. A woman stands up, takes off her clothes, and says, "Before I go, is there a person man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, takes of shirt, and says, "Here, iron this!"
A man hits a woman with his car. Whos fault was it? The man, why was he driving in the kitchen?
My dad told me Santa was black, so instead of cookie and milk waiting for him when he came down the chimney, he got cornbread and purple kool-aid.
What do you call the space inbetween Kim Kardashians breasts.
Silicon valley.
Four gay guys are sitting in a Jacuzzi when all of a sudden, a condom starts floating. One of the gay guys turns around and asks, "Okay, who farted?"
Q: What happens when an asian with an erection walks into a wall? A: He breaks his nose
Why doesn't Mexico have a Olympic team? Because everybody that can run, jump, and swim are already in the U.S
My parents raised me as an only child, which really pissed off my sister.
Why are friends a lot like snow? If you pee on them, they disappear.
Wife: “I want another baby.” Husband: “That’s a relief, I also really don’t like this one.”
A child determined to burn his home down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm across the mother and stated, “That’s arson.”
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn’t working.” I’m not sure what she’s talking about. I opened the fridge door and it’s working fine!
Never break someone’s heart. They only have one. Break their bones instead. They have 206 of them.
I visited my friend at his new house. He told me to make myself at home. So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.
Adam and eve are going through the garden when Adam suddenly says, "What race are we?" Eve responds with, "Ask God, he will tell you." so adam goes over to a hill and asks, "God, what race are we?" God says, " You are what you are." Adam goes back to Eve and says, "We are white." Eve asks how he knew that. Adam responds with, "If we were black, he would have said 'you is what you is'."