Yo momma's so fat, when she bought a fur coat, all animals went extinct.
Worst Jokes Ever
Yo momma's so ugly that when she walked into a Haunted Mansion, she walked back out with a job application.
Your hairline is like Mount Everest; it points.
Your hairline's exactly like your nose; it's always offside.
Your hairline is like Justin Bieber’s buzz cut.
A cop saw an old lady carrying two sacks. He asked the lady what she was doing. She opened one bag and shows a bunch of cash.
"How did you get all this?" asked the cop.
"Well, I live behind a golf course, and my backyard has many holes in its fence. Since there are no bathrooms nearby, the golfers stick their dicks through the holes and piss onto my hard, and that keeps killing my flowers. So, I grabbed my hedge clippers, and when they stick it through, I grab their dick and yell, '10 bucks right now or it comes clean off!' After that, nobody pees in my yard ever again."
The cop responded with, "Dang. But what about the other bag?"
She said, "Not everybody paid."
What is the similarity of a bomb and a baby?
When you drop them both, everyone screams.
Where can you find the most dads?
Milk Island.
The earth used to be flat until your mama was buried.
When I was going downstairs, Sum Ting Wong fell, and doctors say Sum Ting Wong happened.
Yo mama so fat, she thought "RAW MEN" was "RAMEN."
Yo mama is so STUPID, she thought the Rams football team were actual RAMS.
Yo Mama is so stupid, she thought the football team Rams were actually the animal rams.
Why is America bad at playing Clash of Clans?
Because they already lost two towers.
Hey, let’s go, we are heading for the Towers!
Wait, what?
Call 911!
Once I got one so big, they were going to make 9/11 2.0!
Once my twin brother died from a plane crash. His last words were, "If it's a bomb, I'll give it a 9/11."
Once I almost died. I'll give it another shot out of the gun to finish my job.
My girlfriend left a note on the TV saying, "This isn't working!" I don't know what she's talking about, the TV works perfectly fine.
Today I went to the doctor for a test, and he said I have 10 months to live.
So later that day I stabbed him to death, and the judge sentenced me for 15 years in prison. Problem solved!
