Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Hannes asks his mother, "Mom, why are the peanuts called peanuts?" Mom replies, "Because they grow in the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why don't strawberries grow in the earth?" Mom replies: "The giraffes originally had a short neck, but it has grown from giraffe to giraffe. The same thing happened with the strawberries. They grew in the earth and grew higher from harvest to harvest until at some point their stems protruded from the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why is my neck so short?" The mother replies: "So many people died in the First and Second World Wars that our necks could not develop at all. It was the same in the Thirty Years' War. We humans have been in so many wars. The giraffes in none and that's why our neck is so short."

I've decided that from January 1st, I'm only going to watch things that are 4K and above.

It's my New Year's resolution.

What did the blind kid say after receiving a cheese grater for Christmas?

"This is the most violent book I’ve ever read."

Why do girls only stay in odd groups of friends?

Because they literally can't even.

Alright, class, we have 39 students and 40 seats.

That one dyslexic kid thinking he’s Superman:

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to light up the room with space lasers so the other can see, and one to screw it in.

What does a Jewish man say when he sees a caricature of his face?

"We need to circumcise that one."