my therapist says with time all wounds can heal.
So I stabbed him. Now we wait.
Worst Jokes Ever
I gave Caillou bleach, now he is paler than ever. >:)
One day a father went out for some cold beer and threw the 18 pack in the back seat on top of the infant in the car seat. Fortunately, it was light beer.
My sister thinks she's so smart. She said only an onion can make you cry, so I brought the belt out, and she started crying.
What did the hecadrocophodecadus say to the hopetihopetifuckendecker?
"It didn't happen, but it should have."
I would tell you a joke about unemployed people, but they don’t really work.
What’s the difference between an apple and a depressed kid? The apple falls from the tree.
Sell PC.
Go to Croatia.
Try to fly to the US to meet female.
US won't let me in.
End up in Norway.
Female leaves me.
Female gets arrested by feds.
Feds read all my messages and see my dick pics.
Just another day in the defib life.
What do you call Cap and Spider-Man? Spider-America!
What do kids call a balanced meal?
A hamburger in each hand! XD XD XD XD
I went to my local shooting range today but was surprised when I saw on the news that there was a school shooting in my shooting range. I don't know who snitched...
Texans: Don't mess with Texas.
*snows 1 inch*
Texans: Please help us, President Biden!
Texas 😂😂😂😂
Stephen Hawking isn't dead; his update is just laggy because he is too far from the WiFi box.
What's a pedophile's favorite part of Halloween? Free delivery.
Why does no one look up at Steven Hawking?
You have to look down to see him.
Who is an orphan's favorite soccer player?
Been fostered.
BRAKING NEWS!
Little Johnny's dead!
Q. What is the Titanic's favorite food?
A. Ice burger.
A blonde walks in and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde asks, "That's it, how'd you know I was a blonde?"
The seller replies, "Because that's a microwave."