Mom!
Worst Jokes Ever
Who read the most words?
911 passengers, they read 12 stories in 9.10 seconds.
Perfect dinner joke.
Did you hear about the new movie, "Constipated?"
It hasn’t come out yet.
Little Johnny walks in on his mom taking a shower and slips and falls under her, and he says, "What's that, Mama?" She says, "That's just an old bear." He says, "He's a mean bear." She says, "Why's that?" He says, "He's got blood in on eye and shit in the other."
Orphan joke protest! Orphans are nice and kind, so stop joking about them!
Sign a comment and put me or anything else to protest about!
Good luck, Jake.
What's the difference between a bay and an onion?
I cry when I cut into an onion.
The orphanage was open in apps, but I didn’t see the home button.
I took a sip of water.
I was chopping onions with my brothers, so my little sisters cried. Onions was a good dog.
What’s a similarity between a priest and McDonald’s?
They both shove their meat between 10 year old buns.
What do you call a train with bubble gum?
A chew chew train.
Oh man, I'm depressed.
Neighbor 1: Knock knock.
Neighbor 2: You forgot the 3rd knock.
Odin: .....
My aunt visited and saw all of the stuff around the house my mom had kept over the years and said, "If you have something that no one likes, and it only makes people upset, or it's useless, throw it away."
The next time my aunt visited, she said, "Where is your daughter?"
My mom said, "I took your advice."
So there's a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says, "Step on a crack and you break your mother's back." The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother's back breaking.
The little girl's father looks in terror, she then says, "Step on a line and you break your father's spine." The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out "OW MY SPINE!" The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.
When the school shooter is about to leave the room, then the autistic kid says, "Goodbye!"
Americans don't like playing chess with Muslims; last time they did play, they ended up losing two towers.
Person: So you know that person's name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dead.
Friend: Yeah, John Wilkes Booth.
Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln?
Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot!
Joe mama so fat, she could not walk the stairs of heaven.
Credits: to my friend.
What happened to the depressed kid who tried to high five a tree?
Answer: He was left there hanging.
Why is the leaning tower of Pizza leaning?
It has better reflexes than the twin towers.